Look! Twice in One Day!

I'm writing a new book for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and doing so in the full spirit of the event. In other words, I'm writing crap, ignoring that it's crap, and focusing on moving forward. Every few lines, I have to give myself permission to leave it alone, but I'm not comfortable with putting out crap. It seems as if the less I focus on quality-first, the less quality comes out.

At the same time (well, alternately, not at the exact same time, that would be impossible), I'm reading a book that's just amazing. The richness of each sentence, the clarity of description and action—but perfectly chosen, so it's not getting bogged down in detail. I'm in awe. And it drives me nuts.

Because I can't do it. That's how I feel right now. It's ridiculous. I know for a fact that it doesn't come out that way for her, she's said so. First drafts aren't supposed to be polished. I've written books I'm very proud of, and all of them took many, many passes before they became that way. Still, as the words flow from my brain to my fingers onto the screen, other words join mentally join them:

Boring.

Common.

You used that word six times already.

Vary your sentence structure.

Stop using "then."

You'll never be as good as her.

I'm well aware of the dangers of comparison, and I generally avoid it. But this is a special case. I mean, she's a Patriots fan. We both write romantic adventure, so I feel we have a similar audience. When a book is nothing like mine, I'm not as humbled by its awesomeness (like, say, anything by Megan Hart).

So I have a couple of choices. I can let it get to me, and lament my apparently diminishing skills. Or I can finish reading her book before I go back to writing.

I think I'll go with plan B.