Jody: Thank you for having me! Would you like me to tell you about the amigurumi I'm working on right now or the book I just published?
Natalie: Oh, Jody, whatever you utter is a pearl of wisdom. Basically, talk about whatever you like and I swear I'll publish it JUST THE WAY YOU SENT IT TO ME.
Jody: Can I get that in writing?
Natalie: Duh, I just wrote it. In my question. That I totally wrote. That's completely in my personal writing voice.
Jody: Ok, that works. I guess I'd like to talk about Traitor first. It's awesome. The science fiction-based during-apocalypse world it's set in is also awesome, like Falling Skies crossed with Dominion crossed with Defiance, except a lot better and I am not going to kill off any of your favorite characters; include babies who grow from infancy to psychic supermodel in a season; or force Anthony Stewart Head to attempt an American accent.
Once upon a time, Earth was invaded by these horrible black blobs that ate people and couldn't be destroyed by conventional science. They were accompanied by flying red bat daemons that could sort of be destroyed by a lot of missiles. Luckily a squad of powerful angels turned up to save Earth, and they trained a native Chosen One to confront the evil in a final battle.
Except the Chosen One turned out to be a loser, the angels turned out to be aliens pretending to be angels so the Terrans would cooperate (they hoped), and the Earth didn't quite get saved.
Natalie: I don't think I've ever heard an idea so awesome.
Jody: I know, right? It's pretty awesome.
Natalie: It's awesome that you came to my blog today and wrote this for me. I mean, you wrote the answers. I totally and awesomely wrote these questions.
Jody: You're awesomely welcome.
Natalie: Jody, now that we know about your world, tell me how you came up with the specific idea for Traitor, which I believe is probably the most awesome book in the universe?
Jody: Oh, Natalie, you flatter me so much, but don't be silly. It's probably only the third best book in the universe. I mean, I've written over twenty books now, and at least two of them are longer than Traitor—and longer is always better, if you know what I mean.
Natalie: You're so witty. I'm laughing so hard right now.
Jody: I get that a lot.
Natalie: I wish I could be just like you.
Jody: For starters you'll need to learn to crochet penises. It's an essential component of my personality. And then you need to get very good at lying.
Natalie: Oh, dear, I don't think I can ever live up to that ideal! *sobs* I'm heartbroken now. My soul feels like a dead mouse in a hot car, shriveled, smelly and gross.
Jody: You're simply too honest to be like me, Natalie. And quite frankly—get it? Frankly? Because you're honest?—I don't think you should...
FAKE NATALIE: Jody, what the hell is this? You said you were writing me a guest post, not this crap. I didn't say those things.
Jody: But you promised!
FAKE NATALIE: Send me something else. That's stupid.
Jody: Quit being so damn honest. Do you know how hard I worked on that awesome interview?
FAKE NATALIE: About 10 minutes?
Jody: Shut up.
FAKE NATALIE: I did like your book, though.
Jody: Thanks! Tell everyone to go buy it. Here's the links:
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