Movie Mania

I have seen FOUR--yes, four--movies this week, and it's about time for me to express my opinions on them. I'm even going to do something I've never done, and rate them on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the best.

WARNING: Spoilers abound

War of the Worlds: 2

I saw this on Tuesday with my husband, and when it was over, I turned to him and said, "How many ways did that suck?" He immediately and relievedly agreed (I think he was afraid I'd try to convince him how good it was.)

The acting was fine. The effects were, of course, incredible. But the logic was totally non-existent. Everywhere, from little things like how can that video camera be working when an EMP just blew everything for miles around, to why the countryside is TOTALLY deserted with no signs of any destruction, to why the town with the ferry has electricity but the cars don't work?

Characterization was terrible, too. I'm so tired of disaster movies showcasing a bad father trying to make good only because they're all about to DIE. Of kids who hate their father so they're delinquent and stupid.

Oh, and let's see, how many possible ways can we get the monsters to threaten us? We'll be evaporated into dust, and crushed with cars, then drowned, then picked up with tentacles and stored in cages, then sucked up into starfish-style rectum-looking suckers, then speared and our blood sprayed all over the countryside for these vine things...

Then there's the whole, "we've got to up the stakes" thing. It's not enough to foolishly separate the family, for a reason that I cannot understand at all. They have to have the aliens come into the shelter they're hiding in, looking around at old photographs and drinking the water on the basement floor--never mind the RIVER that's just a few feet away. Then let's have the kid run outside, stand on a hill, and scream loudly while staring at the machine that is NOT LOOKING AT HER. You know, so she can be in jeopardy so Daddy can save her.

The Island: 3.75

Ewan Macgregor. Doubled. Nuff said?

Though when it got to that part, I said to my friend, "ooh, one for each of us!" and we immediately both pointed to the clone and said, "I want that one." I graciously agreed to take the original (using his own Scottish accent for once, and ooooo, baby!), and said I'd just rough him up.

So. Problems with the movie? Yeah, some. The story was fine, and there were no major logic problems that jumped out at me. I don't subscribe to the Michael Bay school of film, though, that believes the more destructive a movie is, the better it is. His box office should tell him otherwise. Can a deep philosophical question co-exist with heart-pounding action sequences? Sure! Does the compellingness of the story get lost when you're shattering cars that could contain KIDS as well as innocent adults? Absolutely. The bottom line would be much better served by shaving off a few dozen million in car chases and building-smashing and focusing on what we REALLY care about--the people.

I don't think Scarlett Johannsen lives up to her hype, in any movie she's been in. She did okay here. I did get minorly bugged by her always perfect French manicure. I want to find the kind of nail polish that stays shiny and unscratched when you fall from the 70th floor of a skyscraper.

Michael Clarke Duncan was superb in his tiny roll, as was Steve Buscemi. I was much more upset at the end of his role than I would have been by the end of Scarlett's. Sean Bean was the best, though, as a villian who managed to convince his products that he cared. Not many villians get to be so multi-faceted.

Must Love Dogs: 3

I love John Cusack and Diane Lane, and much of the supporting cast. The movie was fine, but there was something missing. There was no point at which I was convinced the two main characters had completely fallen for each other, so their being apart didn't hurt that much, and their getting back together was ho-hum. Still, these are beautiful people who look REAL, not all glammed up, and that's always nice to watch.

Sky High: 4

It's been quite a while since there was a movie all four of us wanted to see (me, hubbie, 10-year-old daughter, and 6-year-old daughter). So it was a treat for us to do a family movie, and this one was worth it.

Casting directors are my heros for this summer. In a season of mediocre movies, the one thing I have no complaints about in any of them is the casting. Every person has been perfect for his or her role. Kurt Russell had just enough pomposity, but a good heart. The sidekicks were entertaining but not caricatures, and the heroes weren't all made out to be bad guys (though, of course, the bad guys were heroes). Bruce Campbell was up to his hammy best as Sonic Boom, aka gym teacher.

The plot was fairly predictable, but managed to weave in elements of traditional teenage angst, the spectre of familial disappointment, the value of true friends, and a giant evil plot to be foiled.

I loved the last line in the movie, which is a MAJOR SPOILER: "So my girlfriend became my archenemy, my archenemy became my best friend, and my best friend became my girlfriend. But that's high school."