The Unreliability of Memory

My super-fantastic husband has been systematically cleaning out our boiler room over the past several weeks (hey, there's floor! and a workbench! and I can get to the oil tank without gouging out my abdomen on the weight bar!), and yesterday he found one of my old photo albums.

It has pictures in it from the end of my senior year of high school, graduation, the summer before college, and the weekend I arrived at Ohio Wesleyan. You know that funky slide into nostalgia you get when you look at stuff from 24 years ago? I'm kind of wallowing in it right now.

It's odd. I don't really consider myself a sentimental person. I told him to toss some ugly homemade ornaments from my childhood, including a particularly unfortunately clay design I made:

Me: Throw it away. It's ugly. 

Him: Nooo! It looks like poop!

But wow, do these photos have me missing the good old days. And that makes me resentful, because if there's anything I hate almost as much as close-minded absolutism, it's being a cliché. But after a childhood of being shy and introverted and picked on, my senior year of high school was pretty awesome. I'm very happy in the life I'm living now, so it's not like I'm wishing for change. I just miss some of the best parts of those times.

It's also interesting how faulty memory is, both good and bad. In mine, I'm always overweight. I lost 25 or so pounds that senior year of high school, and I weighed 117 when I left for college. I *know* intellectually how fantastic that is. But I don't remember it that way. I remember poochy belly and flabby inner thighs and jiggliness where you don't want it. But then I see this:

I look pretty good! If you ignore the 80s waistbands and hair. But OMG, the hair. I remember the curls from senior prom as being not the way I wanted them, but not awful. Um, yeah, they were awful. Very frizzy. I got what was supposed to be a spiral perm right before I went to college. I wanted it just like my friend Sue's, and I event went to her hairdresser. But I guess the wife usually did Sue's, I don't know. The husband cut and cut and cut and permed and cut some more. It was like a Brillo pad. Literally. Wiry and rough and tight and horribly, horribly short. I remember it as being bad...and still, it was worse.

I'm not posting those pictures. Some things should just remain off the Internet.

One side effect of nostalgia is a reminder of how grateful I am to all the kids in the Ichabod Crane Central High School classes of 1988 and 1989. They welcomed me into their classes and social circles, invited me to parties and *didn't* follow up by saying they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Without them, I never would have gained the confidence and self-esteem that got me through college and gave me the ability to have the friendships I do now.

And maybe even more importantly, the passion to write romance novels.

A Smaller, Better World

Log on to the Internet on any given day, and you're likely to find an article or blog post about how bad the Internet is. We (and our kids) are spending too much time on our computers, too little time outdoors or interacting with other people, absorbing damaging material, blah blah blah. I sometimes feel bombarded by it, and it sinks into me, leaving a greasy, sick feeling that I'm a bad person.

And then the U.S. women's soccer team loses the World Cup.

"Congrats Japan" trended on Twitter to #2 that I saw, and well over 100 new tweets were loading every minute. Hundreds of thousands (millions?) of people were not only bonding over the experience of watching a tremendous competition, they were being good sports. Obviously, winning a soccer game isn't going to magically fix the challenges Japan has faced and is still facing, or the repercussions worldwide, but the whole thing raises morale, and the positivity seeps into everything else. And without Twitter (and all the other social media and Internet-based tools that make instantaneous communication worthwhile), the ripples wouldn't go nearly as far.

Anyone reading this post knows the power of the Internet. It allows millions of dollars to be raised in a matter of hours, for aid to victims of natural disasters everywhere. Via the Internet, regular people can team up with their favorite celebrities to go to Haiti to build schools. When a woman tragically loses a husband and finds herself a single mother of four kids, her friends thousands of miles away can mobilize to organize an auction, drawing donations and bidders on a scale unheard of when all we could do was put cans on convenience store counters for loose change.

All of that isn't even touching the smaller ways it connects us, like when I got an e-mail from my Hawaiian cousin I'd never met.

Any technology has the power to be used for good or bad, but I would far rather dwell on the ways it changes the world for the better. This weekend, I watched it happen, and it made my day brighter.

In the Midst of Insanity

Today's Friday, right?

My week has been so crazy, with thinking I had to work, then not having to work, then getting more work from the freelance job, and canceling obligations, rescheduling activities, fretting about things that weren't going right. It all worked out in the end, which is kind of a lesson about not worrying about things until absolutely necessary. I always advocate for that, but it's hard to do.

I even managed to watch some TV this week, though nothing new yet. All the old favorites are off to a good start. On Bones, though, I think it would have been cool if they'd opened their own agency or something. I thought that might be where they were going, when Booth asked why they only investigate when there's a body.

This weekend is going to be a working weekend, but hopefully I'll make a little progress toward getting Soul of the Dragon published. Oh! And speaking of books, Afterlife will be releasing this weekend, and I'm participating in the release party thrown by The Romance Studio tonight. If you've got a few minutes, check it out. There are several authors celebrating new releases, so there should be something for everyone! The party runs 6:00 p.m. to midnight Eastern time.

I'll also be blogging tonight at Supernatural Sisters. Supernatural returns! I admit, I've been too busy to get excited, but that slow buzz of anticipation is starting. Tune in to Supernatural Sisters a couple of hours after the show to see what I thought and share your own feelings about the start of season six!

I'm heading now into another soccer- and football-focused weekend, with bursts of intense work. What have you got going on?

Circle of Bunnitude

Number One and her father—and, to a lesser extent, Number Two—are obsessed with "boonies." That's bunnies with an oon sound instead of an un sound. They search for them every time we pull onto our street, and squeal when one is spotted in our yard.

Several weeks ago, we saw a boonie preparing a nest smack in the middle of the back yard.



She packed dry grass and fur into it and went to the other side of the yard. A few days later, the grass and fur had been scattered. We haven't seen much activity since, but in the interest of being on the safe side, they created the Circle of Bunnitude (pronounced "Boon-i-tood").



That was taken a couple of weeks ago. The grass is taller now. Around that time, the neighbor's old dog came exploring and I caught her nosing in the nest. I think her owner got her before she really did more than nose, and we haven't seen any signs of trauma. Nor have we seen baby boonies. Though we didn't know we had them before, not until Dolly started playing with one.

A younger-looking but full-grown boonie was hopping the perimeter of the Circle of Bunnitude last night, but I have no idea how long it takes boonies to grow to full size (probably longer than it's been) and the neighborhood is rife with them, so it could have been any boonie.

So now we have to decide: let the Circle of Bunnitude get out of control, or risk running over something with the lawn mower? Number One usually does the mowing nowadays, and last year she almost ran over a nest in a different part of the yard, so I know what her vote is going to be.

I guess I should invest in a machete.

Happy Day

This has been a very full week, let me tell you.

First, the most important thing, I just know you're all dying to find out: Yes, I got my tea. It was in a different bag labeled "Winter Dream," so yay! :)

This was week 2 of the RWA PRO Bootcamp on The Healthy Writer. I'm running it with Keri Ford, and it's been excellent, but intense. In a good way. But I also did a workshop for an RWA online chapter, Anatomy of a Hook, and combine the two for exhaustion. The last time I did a workshop I had NO questions or comments and a couple of thank yous at the end, and that was it. So I was apprehensive. Don't know what was different, but there was tons of participation, many questions, and I did a lot of critiquing.

So I'm tired. But guess what? I got a little fiction done, too! So I now have two days in a row I can say "yes" on Habit Forge. That's a site I just learned about, via one of the attendees of the PRO Bootcamp. It's based on the idea that it takes 21 days to form a habit. You create one, and it asks you every day if you did it the day before. If you did, you say yes, if you didn't, you say no, and it starts you over at 1. If you get friends to sign up, you can track each other. I love the added incentive--I don't want them to see me fail! :)

The only problem is that I signed up yesterday, and last night it asked me if I'd done my goals the day before. Well, duh! No! I didn't start until the next day! So I already show a failure for the writing one. (The exercise one, I did do, so that one is a-ok.) I'm hoping this will help me prioritize, as I've been letting everything else shove the fiction aside, as can happen.

This morning I installed new RAM in my computer. I had low expectations. I thought it might help a little, but WHOA. I've been having mental orgasms all day. I know that's inappropriate to say, but I can't help it. It's so EXCITING to press the button for iTunes and have it open before I can blink. Yesterday, it took two minutes and I couldn't do anything else while I waited. Today, I sat there for two minutes boggling at how fast it happened. I can't understate how happy this has made me.

I had a bunch of errands to do today. It was supposed to be 2 stops, but I wanted a coffee, and remembered I had to drop off the cardboard so I had room for the kids' instruments this afternoon, and Number One got a book in at the library, and if I was going to Target I should go to Best Buy...

I ended up going to two Best Buys. We had some gift cards, and while I was at the library I checked my e-mail real quick, and had a $10 Reward Zone certificate, so I was all excited to get a new guitar for Band Hero, essentially for free. Except our Best Buy had none, so I went across the river to the other one. They only had the Rock Band 2 guitar. I'm annoyed that I didn't do any research beyond asking two store clerks in two different game/electronic stores if the games are all cross-compatible with the controllers (they said yes). They're not. Rock Band's guitar is not compatible with Band Hero, nor is it compatible with the Guitar Hero Smash Hits I bought. But I was looking for a Guitar Hero kit anyway, so research wouldn't have necessarily done me any good. Luckily, I went overboard and also bought Rock Band 2, so we can at least all four play while using one game.

The problem is...

We bought Band Hero because it seemed to have more songs that the kids would like. It does, but we play so much everyone's getting a little "over" those songs. So we were all excited to have the new stuff. But Guitar Hero and Rock Band have few songs the kids know. (Rock Band only has, like 22 available out of the 100+, I'm assuming until we unlock them? I have to figure that out.) BUT, we like the notes and imagery in Rock Band the best. So I guess we ended our two-hour session both pleased and disappointed overall.

Okay, I think I ran out of things to say. TV has started again, yay! I'm giving Human Target a try (the guy seriously reminds me of Colin Ferguson, I hope I get over that when I get to see the actual show and not just the trailer) as well as Life UneXpected. So expect some TV posts in the upcoming future (is there any other kind? And I call myself a writer).

Have a good weekend!

Weekend Adventures

I’m trying out Windows Live Writer to post this (at least to my Blogger blog—you might be reading this elsewhere).  WLW is on my new laptop.

What? My new laptop?! How on earth did that happen? I mean, over at GabWagon last Monday, I was saying how I wanted but didn’t need a new laptop.

It all boils down to insanity and frugality. I wanted to get the Best Buy Sony Vaio deal, so I went over at 10:00 p.m. on Thursday and got in line. Five hours later, in the rain, after chatting with some nice people, watching Patriots.com video and the “Serenity” episode of Firefly, and listening to podcasts, we all stood and gathered our stuff and consolidated the line.  At 3:41 a.m., they started handing out tickets. I got the last ticket for the Sony Vaio without the Geek Squad stuff (you know, they charge $40 to install the antivirus software that you can install yourself in 10 minutes).  By the time I got my ticket, it was after 4:00.  They said they’d open the doors early to stage the lines to pick up the merchandise, so I decided to hang around.  At 4:41 they opened up.  I went to the restroom (I eschewed the Port-a-Potty all night) and got in line.

Finally, just around 8:00, I reached the head of the line, after verbally assaulting a couple of forons (check out my GabWagon post on Monday for details).  I was home a little after 8:00 a.m., with my new baby, upon which I am now typing!

I got home a little dehydrated and with a horrible headache that didn’t go away with liquid and breakfast, so after doing some setup work on this lightning-fast puppy, I let my wonderful husband talk me into sleeping for two hours.  Then I got up and we started to paint!

Yes, after my all-nighter, I spent Black Friday painting half my living room.  Today we finished the living room and hallway painting, and we’re really pleased with the result (as long as no one looks too closely).  Tomorrow we have to get the new switchplates installed, sweep and mop the floor, rub away all the paint drips and footprints (Number One earned the new moniker Paint-on-Foot), reinstall the vertical blinds, and move all the furniture back in—all before the inlaws come over for football.

To top it off, Monday we need to rake the last of the leaves.  Which will probably ice me physically for a week.  I mean, five hours standing in line (the five before that were spent sitting), then uncounted hours crouching, bending, reaching, and climbing over two days, followed by an hour of raking…that’s an oy.

So, how did you spend your [holiday] weekend?

In Balance

Every individual has a driving force, a philosophy of life, a guide that shapes everything they do. Mine can be summed up in one word: balance.

I'm always striving to balance work and family and pleasure, nutritious food and yummy junk, things I want and things I need, exercise and activities, the checkbook, my friendships...everything! It stretches from big picture to day-to-day, and most of the time, I fail. I spend 17 hours a day on work and very little on family, or 17 hours on family and nothing on work. My ideal is to clean the house a bit each day, but I always end up doing it all at once, which means it's never done properly or fully.

Anyway. Today, I'm really satisfied with my balance.

Last night our 14-year-old dog (for her size, that's 88 in people years) launched into a panic attack over we could not tell what. We were thinking stroke or something, with the way she couldn't stand or walk and her head kept rocking from side to side and her eyes were twitching and stuff. Or we thought respiratory distress, her panting was so harsh and heavy. We had the kids say goodbye to her, just in case, and took her to the doggy ER at 11:30.

Turns out she has a simple disorder, vestibular disorder, that hits old animals in spells. Essentially, she's on her own personal tilt-a-whirl. She adjusted to it so she stopped panicking eventually, and Benadryl keeps her calm and not vomiting six times in three hours anymore (motion sickness!). But she can't eat, because she can't aim her nose in the dish and when she does manage it, she lists to the left and falls over. She keeps knocking into furniture and banging her head into the wall and floor. It's horrible!

So this morning, I spent at the dining room table, staying near her because she can't handle the stairs down to my office. I got 2400 words done with her at my feet. Then I did the dishes, caught up on all the e-mails from the weekend, and did a few tasks awaiting my attention.

When Number Two came home we read together. I did the dishes again, and talked with her and her sister before they brought their laundry downstairs. That's about halfway done now. The three of us spent a couple of hours playing Wii. I contributed to parental stereotypes by sucking hard. (They wouldn't let me play the things I'm good at!)

Now I'm blogging here and at Gab Wagon. I have a bio to write for one client, another to type for another's website, and a few other blogs to read. I'll finish just about the time Number One and her father leave for the health club, so I'll hang with Number Two until she gets in the shower (and finish the laundry, I hope!). Then I can relax and watch How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Castle before I go to bed for a decent night's sleep.

All the bases covered! Gosh, it would be nice if every day was like this!

So Self-Fulfilling Prophecy is Trendy Now, Huh?

On FlashForward, nearly everyone on the planet saw their future. This was a malicious act, or so it seems, so they're trying to figure out why and how it happened. For Mark, the FBI agent, there's a lot he doesn't want to come true. But his vision provided clues that can help them, so he's investigating his vision. He saw a card that had a name, and assumes that name is important because it was on the board--but it was on the board because he saw the vision. It turns out to be very important, but how much of what he saw isn't? The friendship bracelet, for example, was more symbolic than vital. Then there was the Utah sheriff. She didn't see anything, and a short time later, she's dead. But she's dead because they're investigating the visions. If they hadn't had the visions, they wouldn't have been there, and she wouldn't have been killed.

Episode note: How freaky was that ending? Charlie's statement made me gasp. I'm definitely hooked on this show!

Okay, so that's one. Then we have Dollhouse. Spoilers here for "Epitaph One," only available on the DVD. A little less of the self-fulfilling part, because we know what happens in the future because of "Epitaph One," but the characters don't. Still, Joss has said they know what they're aiming for, so they can keep it in mind as they get there. I don't like the inevitability of that. It's nice to see Claire and Boyd displaying an attraction and knowing it will become much more, but horrible to know it turns Whiskey into a mindless doll again. I find a post-apocalyptic battle much more interesting than how we got to the apocalypse. But only for this show. :)

Supernatural is exploring the idea of destiny in a different way than FlashForward is. We know they can change the future even when it's foreseen, because they've done it. Mostly on a small scale, until last night, when Dean made the decision we all knew was coming.

Oh, wow. I just remembered something. I'm reading a book that's not due to come out until next year, and this destiny thing is an element in that. I almost stole one of the author's concepts to explore the whole "we always end up here" thing! Sorry, T!!!!

Anyway. Zachariah and Future!Dean told Now!Dean there was only one thing he could do to prevent the future--say yes to hosting Michael. But Lucifer believed that because of who Now!Dean is, he wouldn't do that, and he wouldn't kill Sam, which meant the outcome was inevitable. None of them recognized the real variable, but then, none of them are fans of this show. You only have to be a casual watcher to know the whole world hinges on Sam and Dean's partnership. So the bottom line is that even though we've seen a future, and even though Castiel told Dean at the end of "In the Beginning" that all roads lead to the same result, we don't believe it. Everything that happens next can surprise us, because that future, with the release of the Croatoan virus, is not inevitable.

Might as well talk about some other elements of last night's show, right?

How can Future!Dean seem hotter than Now!Dean? I was actually in the minority on the Buddy TV poll, but he totally was. Future!Dean was bigger (a matter of perspective due to the way they shot/spliced the scenes) and his Army jacket fit him more closely. He was the same color as the background, whereas Now!Dean was different, partly the blue jacket, I'm sure, but partly lighting and such to differentiate him from the future. Future!Dean was also more intense, which is inevitable given what he'd been through. I'm not saying I want Future!Dean to come to pass, but boy, he was yummy while he lasted. :)

Jensen was incredible doing the two roles and being SO different, in SUCH subtle ways. I know we all say this all the time, but man, he's an amazing actor. The poor guy, doing double duty for this ep when Jard got another free pass!

Jared did well with the little bit he had, though. He was a little too smarmy, I think, but he channeled Mark Pellegrino's way of speaking enough to see Lucifer behind the shell. I'll be quite happy to have real!Sam back, though.

Then we have Misha. I think he's having a helluva lot of fun with his acting freedom. Cas is still deadpan and intense, but he's loosened up a little bit, and I loved his lines in the opening scene, his hint of panic that his time was running out, his implacability at having to wait. And, of course, an entirely new Cas in the future that still held hints of the old (when he recognized Dean wasn't Dean and why). I can't believe I thought the show was so good before he existed! He's total enhancement, and I'd miss him if he was gone too much.

Okay, that's enough rambling. I do have work to do today, much as I want to make it a long weekend. :(

Happy Friday, everyone!

First Week of School Annoyances

1. Teachers who have typos or errors in their course descriptions. "Everyday" is an adjective. And yes, I made proofreading marks on half of Number One's papers I had to sign.

2. Parents who ignore the rules, particularly pertaining to drop-offs. The ones who stop dead center in front of the walk to the main doors instead of pulling up so five more cars can fit and drop kids at the same time are irritating. What, their preshus babays can't walk 15 more feet?! But worse are the ones who stop in the passing lane because they don't want to wait their friggin' turn. They hold up the flow of traffic, endanger their kids, and risk fender benders. Morons.

3. Time speeding by at three times the speed it did in the summer, so I only seem to get a third as much done, despite being alone with no interruptions (except Tracy)!

4. The need to eat. I'm trying to work on my book, and my growling stomach is totally distracting.

5. People who post answers on loops several days after ten other people already posted the same answers. I admit I learned the hard way, but I read all my mail before I answer it, because other people's time is valuable and I don't want to look like a moron.

6. Not getting e-mails back when I want them. This one is totally internal because I don't expect everyone to work on my timetable. That would be obnoxious. Still, it would be nice to get the ones I'm waiting for now, instead of in half an hour when I'll be deep in an escape scene (or, even better, the last few pages of the book!) and will be compelled to break the flow to address the issues related to the e-mail. (I have problems leaving things hanging.)

7. All the Supernatural stuff flowing around me. I gave in and watched a clip, and it didn't ease my gnawing need for the show, it made it worse. And reminded me there are tons of reports out there from Vancouver, and I don't have time to go find them and read them, but the addiction is giving me the shakes. September 10th is toooo far away!

8. Computers that need serious maintenance when I don't have time to do it! (Not mine, knock wood).


Not everything is annoying. I am alone, so I can work guilt-free. The inevitable bus issues on Monday were quickly worked out, and even Number One's horrible first day was eradicated by how well the second day went. Our evenings are busy, but not to the level of hectic, and tonight I have virtually no obligations. Looking forward to weekend activities and not even minding the school schedule that gives us a four-day weekend.

Now, if I could just get through this to-do list...

Where the H*** Have I Been?

I was thinking, "How did I keep up with blogging when I had a full-time day job?" Then I looked and...I didn't.

Speaking of blogs, go check out Romance University. They soft-launched today and start out next week with Brenda Novak. I'm a guest professor on 5/26.

My days seem unendingly busy. I finish an editing job, feel relief for about 3.2 seconds, and another one pops in. Which is great--everything is great, I really can't complain. But I'm exhausted.

Luckily, it's T-minus 33 hours and counting until the retreat! At which I won't be blogging, probably. But the break is most definitely needed.

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I'm tired of negativity. Especially about something as unimportant as TV. Yes, entertainment is vital, and yes, it's not unimportant to those who make their living creating it. But srsly, I just want to watch and enjoy, and not feel icky because other people I don't really know are whining about stuff I love.

Which is not a rant against them, they are entitled to say what they want. I just need to avoid it.

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Here's the post I wrote yesterday but didn't get to upload until today:

I hope everyone had a nice Mother's Day, despite pet problems and in-law invasions. No one deserves crap on the one day a year they get celebrated. Whether that crap is doggie diarrhea or passive-aggressive attacks on your character.

I had a fabulous day. I got breakfast made for me. It was funny--Saturday, on the way to the City Islanders soccer game, we saw that our very favorite bagel place is now open on Sunday. So I requested Bob's Bagels, and they drove over early...and found a sign on the door, "closed for Mother's Day."

I got a gift card for Amazon (hopefully--the store didn't activate it, so J's taking it back today) and the keyboard that shipped last night (hopefully it arrives before I leave for the retreat, but it's not looking good), and we had dinner at Passage to India after a gorgeous hike at the environmental site near the schools.

I also got to see Star Trek, which was so good I'm sorry I already saw it.

But let me back up. Friday night I dragged J to see Wolverine. It was great. Very well acted and structured, though I wanted a lot more Bradley, Wade, and Remy. I definitely want more Remy. I hope they do a Gambit movie next. Anyway, it was well done for a film that was basically rehashing everything we already knew, and the bit after the credits was shiver-worthy, well worth hanging around for.

Saturday we had soccer all day. The Islanders won again, which was cool. Even cooler was the Pittsburgh goalie getting red-carded. The goalie got a red card!!!!

I caught up slightly on TV this weekend, though I'm still way behind. It's okay, because the finale season makes me sad. Pretty much everything is over already, over this week, or ending next week/soon. The longer it takes me to watch, the longer I can stretch the season.

The Scrubs finale was perfectly done, though I'd have liked to see Cox's friend played by Brendan Fraser. I was very misty-eyed through most of it.

Alan Tudyk? Evil? Never thought he would make me so scared. Gah! But I love him more than ever.

So, back to Star Trek. I've never been much of a Trekkie. Casual fan. Never really saw the original, but absorbed enough to "get" the jokes/tropes/commonalities, etc. I did watch some TNG and all the movies. This one is by far the best of them.

First, I want to give kudos to the casting director and anyone else involved in that. It could not be more perfect. The only actor who didn't completely emulate a young version of his predecessor was Chris Pine as Kirk, and I can't say that a true fan wouldn't find him lacking, but I didn't. I didn't expect Karl Urban to do McCoy so well, nor did I think I could divorce Quinto from Sylar. It helped that I haven't watched Heroes for a couple of years, but even my husband, who still watches it, said he was perfect.

The plot made me squee. It connected the franchise with its past/future, grounded the characters and us in a new present, and set up a completely blank slate so they can do anything they want with additional movies.

The details were delightful. Accents and lines and mannerisms and the vastness of space, the relationships they established, the motivations...I don't know how they managed to do it all, but they did. And I have to admit, I never saw the red shirt coming. That's completely on me, because it's not like they didn't throw hints at us like darts. But the action was so very much modern adventure, all I could do was stare in exhilaration.

Anyway, go watch it. If this is at all your kind of movie, you won't be disappointed.

Random Monday

Wow, has it been way too long since my last regular post. If I thought this blog had any value/meaning/importance, I'd apologize. :)

I could blame my lack on the shocking death of Derek Reese on Terminator: TSCC. I wanted to be furious, but bringing the Connors in contact with Weaver was too intriguing and exciting (I haven't watched the finale yet). So I find myself dismayed over the probability that the show will be canceled, but then asking myself if I really care, because the episodes that were the best inevitably involved Derek (my favorite being the one where he found out about Jesse's plan, and maybe killed her, though that also happened to be the ep where John manned up, so...). Anyway, I guess if Derek won't be in it, I won't like it as much, so it's not as big a loss? Maybe.

Accompanying T:TSCC is Dollhouse, which I'm enjoying about as much as Buffy but not nearly as much as Firefly. It's probably in the top 5 of all the shows I watch. I'm really intrigued, though I do miss the quippiness--there's humor, but it's not of the usual Whedon style--and I'm even over my dislike of Eliza Dushku. I'm fascinated by how I'm simultaneously protective of the Dollhouse and wanting Ballard to take them down.

And I find myself charmed by Cupid. The couples he's working on are more interesting than he is, but that's okay, because we get new couples every week.

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Life is not all TV. I don't remember if I mentioned that Number One tore her MCL. I scolded her last week for causing me too much stress. I had the typical "back at school" stress dream, only instead of being in MY old high school or college, or newly enrolled in such, she'd made me go to school on her behalf. I couldn't find her locker, and had no schedule so even though I had a vague idea of where her classes were, I didn't know in what order. When I finally figured out which locker was hers, it was empty except for random papers, junk, and romance novels. Her binder (with her schedule) and all her textbooks were at home. The cat (Frisbee, of course) was in her locker, and I started to carry her back to homeroom, then halfway there said f*** it, there's no point.

I've had other weird dreams since then and can't remember them now, which is a shame because one featured Jared Padalecki very prominently.

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I have sent way too many sympathy cards lately. People need to stop dying, please.

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Starting to look forward to things. Movies in the next few weeks have some of my favorite actors or interesting storylines. May sweeps, though signaling finales, also promise stellar television. The retreat is only a month away, and this year Supernatural is a rerun, with the finale airing the following week! So I don't even have the horror of missing that to mar the weekend. It's sad to let go of the two-year tradition of Megan taping the show and dragging her TV and VCR to Waynesboro, but I have a feeling she won't mind so much.

City Islanders soccer is starting up again, the home opener occurring right after Number Two's 10th birthday. June 5, the kids' last day of school, looms, and summer always brings its logistical issues, but it also brings our late-June and early-August vacations. We didn't take a family vacation last year, and with Number One entering high school we're more intent than ever on filling those memory banks.

I've taken a writing break, unintentionally but it's difficult to get started when time is limited or fragmented. The kids are off today, I'm getting my car serviced, and then they have half days Wed-Fri, with IEP meetings and parent/teacher conferences and soccer games and practices and so on--very busy week.

The other really frustrating thing is my weight. I lost 15 pounds in 2007, kept it off for about 18 months, then discovered that I have an abnormal presentation of lactose intolerance that is eased by Lactaid. But since I started taking that, I've gained 10 pounds.

So I have to stop making excuses. Starting tomorrow, I am getting focused with both exercise and writing. Those two things will be priorities on my to-do list.

Wish me luck!

Ant Season

I just killed a couple of those tiny baby ants in the bathroom. I guess, temperature notwithstanding, it's really spring.

We get these ants in the downstairs bathroom 'cause it's the basement, and, I don't know, maybe they're attracted to the trash can or something. It's not a big deal. We don't get many, and the spiders like to set up shop to keep them under control.

But now I'm dreading them returning to the kitchen. They swarm our sink. Ant traps don't work. Borax doesn't work. Sealing every crack around the window over the sink doesn't work. Just about the only thing that does is keeping the sink empty, but in a family of four people, that's darned near impossible. It means emptying the dishwasher the instant it's done running, so we can load it as we use dishes. But sometimes the timing (and energy level) just don't work out. *sigh*

~~~~~~~~
A character in a book I just read said that Saturn rearranges your life every seven years and there's nothing you can do about it. My first thought was "nuh-uh," but then I thought about the last significant change in our lives, when I quit my day job and started doing freelance editing/proofreading to go along with my writing. That was 2006. Seven years before that, I had a baby and moved into a new house. Seven years before that, I got married. Pretty freaky, huh? The next big change is to come in 2013. The year Number One graduates from high school.

Freee-ky.

~~~~~~~~
Speaking of Number One... she's gone, like, 22 seasons of soccer without real injury, beyond the typical bruises, nicks, and occasional twisted ankle. This spring, before they'd done more than practice, she had problems with her left calf, then sprained her left ankle, then pulled a hamstring. She's practiced and played with all of those, but last night, in her second game for the school team, five minutes into it she got her leg yanked (and therefore knee wrenched) by another player (tangled feet). I'm taking her to the orthopod this afternoon. Everyone please cross you fingers that it's nothing major.

Day One! Oh, Never Mind

Here's how I did on today's portion of the goals I set yesterday:

Exercise: Done!
Cleaning: Done!
Edit Chapter: Um...
Pro. Editing Job: Done!
Three additional editing jobs today: Done!

Not listed yesterday (oversight!):
Critique: Maybe later?

What I did today that wasn't on the original list:

* Waited for computer to run the chkdsk it decided to do without asking (enabling me to get the editing done, on paper, anyway, as well as the cleaning, but not so much the chapter or critiquing)
* Got adjustment at the chiropractor (ahhhh--I needed it. I was waking up 18 times a night with my arms asleep)
* Bought stamps at the PO to replace the ones the cats apparently sent into Limbo
* Blogged at GabWagon
* Prepped tomorrow's post for Supernatural Sisters
* Did Chuck review for Sci Fi Chicks
* Did laundry (two and a half loads, one being too small and unbalanced and folded into load three)
* Cleaned up dog diarrhea in living room for second time in two days
* Took Number Two back to school to pick up homework she forgot
* Supervised homework of Number Two
* Prepared dinner
* Fed the animals
* Sent some e-mails

I know, that's all terribly fascinating stuff, but tell us, Natalie, what you thought of the episodes of Leverage you caught up on last night!

Yes, I'm all caught up, and I really like the show. I love Elliot and Hardison and Parker. I love Nate's mind, but am quite dismayed by the sudden descent into overwhelming alcoholism, and Sophie doesn't do much for me. It's another on my list of really enjoyable shows that I will record and watch every week, but if it stops, I won't miss it that much. (Of course, I won't have to, since it got a season 2 pickup recently.)

Okay, so, goals for the week, let's try again tomorrow. Chapter 3 will take priority over everything else, I swear it!

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school. Number One started eighth grade, her last year of middle school, and Number Two started fourth grade. For some reason, it didn't feel as "big" as the first day of school usually does.

Perhaps because both kids were pretty blasé. Perhaps because it was pretty damned hot this morning, and "first day of school" really seems like it should have the bite of fall, despite the fact that fall is nearly a month away.

But mostly, I think it's because of the weekend we just had.

When Number One was 8, she had the option of playing rec soccer or travel. She wanted to keep playing rec. I was glad, because I wasn't ready to dedicate full weekends to soccer. Weekends like this one.

Number One played in a six-game tournament in Gettysburg--three seeding games, one of which they won, and three tournament games, in which they wound up in the consolation bracket, taking sixth. The great part was seeing 15 of her 18 teammates together. It's early, but they're starting to come together. I have high hopes for this season, because usually their season record stinks but they do great in tournaments, at least having a run at the championship. Maybe things will be reversed this year.

Number Two played a three-game tournament in Downingtown. It was quite a wild time. The setup was to play three games in our four-team bracket. The team that won the bracket (based on points for wins, ties, goals scored, and shutouts) would play the team that won the other bracket in our "flight." So we played three really good teams with whom we were fairly evenly matched, winning two and tying the third, and failing to win the bracket by only one point. If it was all points based, we came in third.

But circumstances can sometimes suck. Going into the third game, we were one point behind because the team we played in that game had a shutout and we didn't. If we won outright, we'd go to the final game to play for the championship. We tied the game with them 1-1, a heartbreaking situation because the same girl scored both goals. Yes, every soccer player's nightmare. Of course, the important things were learning and having fun, and they all did that. And everyone was in good spirits when we left.

The other factor that made it wild was that in our first game, we had more injuries than we'd ever had in an entire season before, as far as I can recall. Two of our defenders went down in the first half after being kicked hard in the calf and ankle. Then Number Two, who plays goalie, got three of her fingers bent back badly enough to pull her off the field. She sprained the middle finger (still hurts two days later) and was icing it when not five minutes after she came off the field, our other goalie got kicked in the face and got a bloody nose.

Proud Parent Moment

Coach: "I need a goalie. Who's a team player? Who's gonna go in for me?"

Team: Silence

Number Two: "I'll go back in."

And she did, and she did great.

With all the injuries, I learned two of our parents (one of whom was on site) are doctors. The ER doc/dad who was there joked that he'd hold clinic after the game, but it ended up not being a joke, as he taped up our injured defenders before each game after that. So we're super-lucky. Retired college soccer coach for an assistant coach and our very own trainer!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, back to first day of school. We had the expected kinks, though they were worse than usual. The elementary bus was 20 minutes late, which means the kids were 20 minutes late getting to school. No explanation for why it was late. I was blown off when I called the school, given excuses about assigning seats at each stop, but we're the first stop! They have new bus routes and new procedures, though, and it looks like some things are going to have to change, because she was about 20 minutes late getting home, too. And one of the neighbors didn't show up. He wound up on a different bus or something. Scary.

Number One's day went smoothly. One of her teachers makes the kids do pushups for saying certain words or violating rules like not having a hall pass. She didn't have to do any, but finds the whole thing amusing. Her three closest friends are on her academic team for the first time, though she only shares one class each with two of them. They get to eat lunch together, which is nice. They've been close since third grade, even with being torn asunder entering sixth grade and all making new friends. It's always nice to see.

As for me...

I spent the morning cleaning, doing laundry, taking the cat for a nail-clipping, getting groceries, and going to the post office. That meant that 1) it wasn't the easy-going day I was looking for, and 2) it went way, WAY too fast.

But I'm glad we're here.

Things That Derail Me

My kids are gone today. I had huge intentions. Get up early, do the one proofing job I have waiting, and get right into my manuscript, spending all day working on it. I would have from, say, 8:00 a.m. to 5:45 p.m., when J gets home with the kids.

Then I find out that he's got a training session locally and can't get the kids, which means I'll have to, which means stopping work early and braving rush-hour traffic. (I'm not whining, honest. That would be shrewish.)

Then I learn that his training session is not only local, but at 9:00 a.m., which means he'll get up later, which means I'll get up later. What? I should set the alarm even though I only have 11 alarm-free days left before school starts and I'll have to get up at 6:15 every day? Yeah, I thought you were just joking.

So okay, getting up at 8, quick shower, downstairs by 8:30, right?

Why am I so stupid?

The animals need to be fed before the little one gets stuck in squeaky cry mode. The dog doesn't want to eat. While trying to feed her, I dump icky dog food all over my bathrobe (and yes, then stand stark naked in the middle of the kitchen while I finish what I'm doing--no, don't picture it).

I forgot to scoop the litter box last night, so of course I have to do that, which also means sweeping up the scattered litter. I multi-task, doing that while my tea water heats and the dog is supposed to be eating, but she's too scared I'll go away without her and follows me all over the house.

I figure I might as well eat breakfast because I'll probably skip lunch, so I make waffles while the dog finally settles down to her dish. We get downstairs, I turn on the computer...

And Windows wants to update. Fourteen updates to install, and I might as well not bother starting to work while it does, because the bogged-down computer will only annoy me, and I'll have to restart it, anyway.

So here we are, 9:15, and I haven't even started yet.

Well, except typing this blog post on my Neo. Doesn't really count.

Added post update:
It's now 10:15. The proofing is done, but the laundry I threw in while the computer rebooted is also done, so now I have to go switch that to the dryer and start another load...and my manuscript isn't even open.

Things aren't looking good for a high page count today. :(

Ten-Day Hiatus

Hi! I'm back from my hiatus!

What? You didn't know I was on one?

Whoops.

In truth, I didn't intend to be. I had lots of topics to address over the last ten days, I just couldn't find the time to type them out. Partly because of work. Partly because of total distraction with Number One's slumber party, birthday, and trip. She turned 13 on Thursday, and on Friday she took off with a bunch of strangers.

It all went pretty smoothly, though. I had communicated with, but not met, the People-to-People leader who was in charge of the group. I liked her as soon as we walked into the airport and she approached us, very organized and pleasant and excited. Over the next hour and a half, she gave us reason to be comfortable that she could handle any crisis.

So at 3:15 Saturday morning, Number One called between the airport in Amsterdam and the Friendship Village. She didn't manage to sleep on the plane because her seatmate snored and hocked a lougie every five minutes, and she had a full day of activity ahead of her, but she sounded wide awake and loving being where she was.

We haven't heard from her since.

Which I have no doubt is a good thing. She's probably not homesick, and I know she's keeping busy, probably making tons of new friends. I'm sure it's not that she lost her phone, or broke it, or is lying in a coma in the hospital after losing her ID lanyard in a horrible accident.

Or anything like that.

Ahem.

Anyway, I don't want to pack ten days worth of thoughts into one post, so I'm going to schedule a whole bunch of posts over the next several days, which--BONUS--means I won't have to take the time to post each day!

First up...Renegade!

What You Don't Want to Know

I have a friend who doesn't talk about personal stuff on her blog. I mean, she rants about typical family stuff (shut off the damn lights, pick up your sh**) and personal feelings about the writing industry. And she puts on a really good show. But even if you think you know a lot about her, you don't know a lot about her. I admire that, deeply. Because if I were more like her...


...I wouldn't post about how this week was not so fantastic as last week, primarily because I was sick for two days and spent most of today in the ER.

...I would not post about pain so bad I should have another baby making demands right now.

...I would not post about Number Two telling me "Too Much Information" when I explained about the procedure I'll be having on Tuesday. Yeah, the one with the camera going where no camera should ever have to go. (Even the most common expressions are funnier when they come out of a nine-year-old's mouth.)

I guess that's enough stuff I shouldn't be posting about.

To all those who may ask, I seem to be fine. The ER trip was one of those pointless ones where you find out you're not about to die but virtually nothing else. I'm a little anemic. Apparently not enough to worry about at the moment.

Anyway.

I haven't read through Fight or Flight yet, and a I have a new proofing job this weekend, but I did manage to get some files set up for my challenge next week, so it wasn't a total loss.

I don't know if I mentioned the challenge yet. A group of friends--stay-at-home writers like me--has agreed to challenge each other weekly to help keep us on track this summer. We get points for writing new stuff or editing old stuff, and the person with the most points after the five-day period wins for the week. And we'll all go out to a fancy dinner at the end, provided we have at least tried to meet the challenge. Which we will. We're a group so dedicated we don't really need the challenge.

So, I suppose I should say Happy Independence Day to all my fellow Americans. I kind of forgot it was a holiday, given the circumstances, but we did manage to set off a few legal fireworks in the driveway after dark. I hope you all celebrated appropriately and will enjoy the rest of your long weekend.

And I promise not to describe my Tuesday.

Well, That Didn't Last Long

Remember way back last week when I kept raving about how well everything was going, and how much I was getting done?

Yeah. Not so much today.

Two hours searching for anacharis for the damned crayfish. Most of that spent in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Which meant I didn't get very much work done that I intended to today. I have a galley to proof for Renegade, my mid-July novella release. I also finished my revisions on Fight or Flight last night, which made me feel really good, but trying to print out the damned manuscript is what set off rage of Incredible Hulk proportions tonight (aided, I'm sure, by PMS).

My printer was running low on toner, so I kept having to take the cartridge out and shake it. I thought, last night, that the manuscript finished printing. It didn't, but when I resumed it this afternoon, it f*&%ing started over! And I couldn't get the damned printer to stop f*&%ing printing. Every time I turned it off or disconnected it, when I turned it back on it started over at page 1. I wasted guess how many pages? Almost exactly the number I had left when the toner cartridge stopped completely. So there was a trip to Staples, and the mammoth document is now fully printed.

In the meantime, after I shook the cartridge and put it back in at one point, I forgot to flip up the paper catcher again. That's not a problem for short print jobs, but this one dumped about 50 pages all over the floor. Spread very far and wide, in a near-perfect circle. When I tried to gather them up, there was no rhyme or reason to what had landed where. Page 212, 248, 223, and 237 were all together. That was quite a nightmare to sort.

Add a 100-foot outdoor extension cord that didn't want to coil properly, kids who didn't do as they were told earlier, and bad parents who gave in to a fast-food dinner, and I was raging most of the evening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TMI

Getting older sucks. It's an old story--the hair on my head is thinner (I don't have less of it, the hair itself is just thin) and I have almost no eyelashes to speak of. But of course I'm growing a mustache. It's reached noticeable proportions, so for the first time in my life I used hair remover on it.

Yeah. That went about how you'd expect.

I have patches where I apparently didn't apply enough, and I have to wait two days before I can redo them. I plucked a few of the longer ones, which is probably a no-no (I know you can't pluck beforehand). I have a little bristly line right at my lipline that I'm afraid to try to get because the directions say not to get it on your lips. And I now have a brown line along said lipline that wasn't there this morning. The area is, of course, sensitive to the touch, and the remaining hairs feel like boar hide. I'm really afraid of how it will grow in now, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funky Entertainment

We saw Wall*E this weekend, and it was delightful. I love anthropomorphized robots, and the tribute to Apple, Pixar's originator, in the computer launch tone used as Wall*E's signal that his charge is complete, amused me every time they used it.

I didn't really care for the implication about humans' future, but I won't whine about it. I'll just make sure I'm not one of those people, that's all.

I also saw Borat the other day. Didn't live up to the hype. I wondered if Cohen ever broke character to explain to people what he was doing. I also wondered if he deliberately chose a southern route. Southerners were not shown in the best light, though of course they were goaded. Still. Enough bigotry to keep me convinced I want to live no further south than I do right now. Not that, of course, all southerners are that way. I know plenty who are the complete opposite. But if we have as many bigots up here, they are at least more quiet about it.

And last night I watched Knocked Up. Again, not as charming or as wonderful as the critics would have us believe (I'm sure they were all caught up in the fantasy of having a woman like Heigl, with her distracting fake-but-squishy boobs). Ben could not be a bigger loser without being a criminal, and that made it impossible for me to believe Alison loved him when she said she did. The best friends were all a**holes of the first order, and the sister was horrible.

But I like Leslie Mann, the woman who played the sister. She was probably my favorite actor in the movie (with Paul Rudd). Heigl and Rogen were very good, despite the material. And Apatow's kids are totally adorable. They alone are enough to make me see another Apatow movie (provided, of course, they are in it). I was also thrilled to see Alan Tudyk being fabulous, and I loved Kristen Wiig. But really, the extras were far more fun than the movie itself.

Okay, enough whining. Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Some Days are Amazing

I read an entire book yesterday. Not just an entire book: Eileen Rendahl's Un-Bridaled, which is 322 pages long. I started it in the morning, probably around 9-ish, and finished it a little before 11:00 p.m.

That's not really amazing. I'm a fast reader. People used to get disgusted playing Jeopardy! with me on the Sega because I read the questions so much faster than the rest of them. (I know. Sega. Dates me a bit. Imagine if I admitted we had an Atari and a Colecovision when I was a teenager kid!) Lots and lots of people can read a book in a day. My daughter does it every day of the week!

But what is amazing is all the other stuff I did during the day:

• Proofed six marketing pieces

• Critiqued a 59-page short story

• Did an administrative job for a client

• Completed three loads of laundry

• Folded and put away two loads of towels

• Edited 2 chapters of Fight or Flight

• Wrote 3+ pages of The Light of Redemption

• Attended a one-hour chat at TKA

• Took Number Two and one of her teammates to soccer practice

• Read a 31-page contest entry and completed the score sheet

• Various and sundry household things, like cleaning the litter box, feeding the animals, cooking and eating lunch and dinner

• Exchanging IMs and e-mails with colleagues

I've had busier days, I'm sure you all have, and I'm not really bragging, despite my high sense of accomplishment. What really amazes me is that a day like this can happen, yet rarely does. Usually, if I spend any time in IM or not ignoring my e-mail, I get far less done. My editing and administrative work always takes priority over the writing, and tends to derail me. Even if I make use of down time like soccer practice (which I did yesterday), it's still less productivity than I would have had in the same time frame without being at practice.

So what is it? Is it that Mercury going direct freed something? Is it that I got more disciplined and focused? Is it a weird space-time thing that makes it stretch at the whim of a higher power?

Who knows? Or cares. I'm just going to aim for the same thing today. Here's my list:

• Blog

• Finish administrative project, phase 1

• Take Number Two to the orthodontist and go to the library, comic book store, and grocery store

• Edit three chapters in Fight or Flight

• Work on my Romance Wiki

• Write some new pages on The Light of Redemption

• Judge another contest entry

And may you all have amazing days!

Ummmmm...

Man, have I gotten bad about blogging. I'd apologize, but I'm not sure anyone cares.

Anyway. Here are some things I've thought about posting, but haven't gotten around to because of:

• Family visits over nearly two full weeks
• Dance recital and rehearsals
• Work load
• Fatigue
• Ennui
  

Thursday I went to Jubilee Day, which the Mechanicsburg Chamber of Commerce bills as the biggest one-day street fair on the east coast. I have a bunch of skepticism about that.

1. Pennsylvania has no coast.

2. Mechanicsburg is a tiny little burg. How the hell do they know every tiny little burg's street fairs and the size of such?

3. They claim to expect 60,000 people at this year's fair. Since it's such a fluid thing, I don't see any possible way they can estimate that with any accuracy. First, there's no "gate." People can enter the fair in any of 100 different places, and no one is counted. There's no central place everyone goes where they could get any kind of idea, either. I don't know, maybe there's some demographic formula these things use to calculate an estimate. Still, it's one of those things you have to take with a grain of salt. Or a pound.

Anyway, Jubilee Day was kind of fun. The kids went on a ride that made horrible squealing sounds that sounded like "Oil! Give me oil! Before I break and dash two dozen people to their deaths from a height of 50 feet! At high speed! So they get flung all the way to the other side of the fair!"

We bought a bunch of stuff. Number One got flip flops tied with felt in her school colors that look pretty funky (supported the high school percussionists). I got a resin dragon whose tail wraps through a pentagram. I've wanted a dragon ever since I wrote the book that features a dragon hero that is apparently completely unpublishable. I also got some grapeseed oil and a Nana and Papa sign for my inlaws' garden.

There was a recruitment booth for the Marines (as well as the SEALS and the Army and probably more that I didn't see). Ironically, all the guys were of the same build as in the video in my last post, and they all were the same height and looked alike. But they were busy with other people so I didn't ask them about the video.

I've lived two miles from Jubilee Day for 9 years. This was the first time we went, and now that I've gone, I can affirm that I wasn't missing anything. Overpriced food and trinkets, crowds that can't MOVE down the street, mediocre bands, a petting "zoo" with, like, four animals. The old stationmaster's house and a tavern on the historic register were open for tours, and my husband loved those, but for me...I don't ever have to do it again, really.

I saw Get Smart last night. OMG, was it funny! I found myself marveling at how well done it was. The humor was often silly, but never over-the-top. Everyone had funny lines and funny situations, and there was no real winking at themselves, yet they didn't take themselves too seriously, either. Steve Carell was the perfect Maxwell Smart. He was more than competent, but not flawless. He had confidence that was backed up by hard work (and ability), but could laugh at his failures. Agent 99 had the right balance of disdain and partnership. Agent 23...well, my only disappointment relates to his character, but it's too spoilery.

There was a preview for Disaster Movie, which looks like the anti-Get Smart. Totally stupid, totally vapid. If there is any justice in the world, you'll all go see Get Smart twice so they make more movies like this (not sequels, just smart funny movies) and no one will go see Disaster Movie, so they stop cluttering the multiplex with that crap.

Next week is Wall*E and Wanted, which officially launch my summer movie season, as there is something coming out nearly every week after that (that I want to see).

In the meantime, I have to get Number One ready for her trip to Holland (making slow progress on that, and had a panicky moment on Friday when I realized it's less than a month away!!!!). Next week some friends and I are starting a challenge, since most of us have been hit or miss with our progress this summer. That challenge should will result in great strides in my editing, and maybe even some new writing.

Wish me luck!