Guest Blogger: Jeff Rivera

Jeff contacted me last week about including my blog on his blog tour for his new book that comes out this week. I didn't know him, but his story is pretty inspiring and his book sounds wonderfully intense. So here he is!

1. Let's start out with a little bit about your book, Forever My Lady. What gave you the idea? What compelled you to write a romance/romantic novel?

I feel like the idea came to me, actually. I had just come from being homeless and one of the first jobs I got was working at a department store, the oh-so-wonderful K-Mart (which I hated). I had a nasty boss who hated me and I wasn't too fond of her, either. I guess some personalities just don't get along. Anyway, one thing that happened was I met someone who would become a friend. He was Latino and was trying to turn his life around for his "lady" because he had just come out of juvey. He was in a gang. That's what sparked the idea, and I decided to come up with a story from scratch that would put what I've been through in my life and would hopefully be an emotional roller coaster, a story that would touch people.

I decided to make it a love story because I am a real softy when it comes to love. I really believe in meeting the right person and riding off into the sunset on a horse and stuff like that. There's a part of me that really believes that's possible.

2. The book blurb alone hints at deep emotion and, despite the heartbreak the hero faces, hope and possibility of happiness, too. Reading your bio, one can see that you've obviously been through some tough times. Can you tell us what, if anything, in your own life informed your writing?

One thing I learned from being homeless is that you have to take responsibility for where you are in your life. I could easily be a victim because of all the stuff I've been through, but that's not a very powerful mindset. Take responsibility for where you are right now in your life and you can take responsibility for where you're going. That's one thing that I felt was important to show with the character Dio in Forever My Lady. He has a drill instructor in the book who really pounds that into him.

3. A lot of my blog visitors are writers themselves, and we're always interested in success stories. Can you describe your journey from writing this book to the huge amount of success it's had?

Absolutely, it started out as a screenplay and even after Hollywood kept rejecting it I didn't give up because I really believed it was a story that needed to be told. Something kept pushing me to go on. That's when I decided to self-publish, and I built an audience of people online who spread the word about the book. That's when we piqued the interest of Warner/Grand Central and the rest is history.

4. What's next for you?

I really love writing love stories and things for young adults so I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens next ...


You can learn more about Jeff Rivera and how to get his book at his website. Thanks, Jeff, and good luck!

I've Been Greeked!

I know some of you will know what greeking is, but for those who don't...

When doing layout, say of a magazine or brochure or something, and you don't have actual text to include yet, you insert greeking. It's usually fake words made up to look like real words to emulate the real flow of real writing, but without using real writing. An example would be like the following:

Whyn Zey Zvzmevy ztyppyz inte thy tellveem, thy culminetien ed e lidytimy ed yddevt gevy hyv zetizdectien tevzyving en yuphevie.

Oncy, zhy weulz hevy tyyn eny ed thy tuxyze-zhivt-unidevm weit ztedd eddyving eveunz tveyz ed chempegny. With e littly vizien enz mevy hevz wevk, meyty zhy’z hevy gettyn te tycemy thy menegyv tyhinz thy zcynyz, liky thy wemen in thy cevnyv giving inztvuctienz te thy tenzlyezyv. Tyn yyevz ege, zhy ceulzn’t hevy yvyn yntyvteinyz thy izye ed evviving hyvy ez e guyzt.

Tyllyn Steny eppyevyz et hyv zizy, enz Zey zmilyz up et him. “Leekz gevgyeuz, zeyzn’t it?” Shy zeuttyz hy cevyz eteut thy gelzyn light zhimmyving en thy zilky vittenz ezevning thy tetlyz, ev thy lecy clethz enz cuvteinz zvepyz yvyvywhyvy. Hy’z gvewn up in thiz wevlz, enz hy wez e guy. But zhy’z yevnyz hyv wey hyvy, hez wevkyz hevz te meky thy menyy thet hez peiz dev hyv tickyt te thiz tynydit. Shy vyvylyz in yvyvy zyteil.

That's a little heavier on the Zs and Vs than it should be, but you get the idea.

Anyway, I got my Google alert today for myself, and it included my usual two Monday blogs and this.

It looks like they took individual lines and partial sentences from a whole bunch of different sites, including my bio from somewhere I have it posted and an Amazon search that included one of my titles and my name. I have no idea what the purpose is, unless it's a placeholder for a future article.

Weird!

Just a Few Things I Love

1. Reading about myself on other people's blogs, especially when they don't use names, and, of course, when it's good stuff they're saying.

2. LOLcats. No matter what kind of day I've had, they make me laugh and laugh.

3. LOLdogs. Not yet achieving the consistent brilliance of the cats, but what can you do? They're dogs, after all.

4. Matt Cassel. Backup quarterbacks are always scrutinized, but when you haven't started a game since high school and you're following quite possibly the best player in the position ever, you're facing a whole new level of difficulty. Cassel has poise, class, and gorgeous eyes. And he's doing his job right. Gotta love him.

5. Saturday, we went shopping for Halloween costumes. Got a tan trench coat at Goodwill for $15 (excellent!) and black wings at Party City for $25 (eek!) plus some black and glitter hair spray. Add a button-down shirt and an askew tie, and you've got a warrior from God. Yep, Number One is going trick-or-treating as an angel from Supernatural. Not Castiel, because she wants to stay female, but modeled on him. It bothers her not a whit that no one will know what the hell she is. She dealt with the same thing last year when she was Tonks. The point is pleasing herself, not getting attention.

6. Kids who are secure enough to please themselves, not the world around them.

Friday Mix

A fellow soccer parent sent me this. I looked for attribution on the 'net but couldn't find anything convincing, so if you originated it, let me know. I do like to give credit where due. :)

I thought this was really funny. Particularly apropos items are in bold.

Is Your Kid's Soccer Taking Over Your Life?

You know it is if:

You know a few 6 year olds that are good but "lack focus".

You base the next purchase of your new vehicle on whether it will hold six kids, six soccer bags, and a portable goal.

You know every kid on every team your child has ever played on...but don't have a clue who their school mates are.

You feel lost when you have a free weekend.

You become a partner in a soccer store to save money.

You don't give your kids time-outs, you give them red cards.

You can rationalize spending $89 on the good cleats but won't spend $3 on a birthday card for your spouse.

You respond to the question, "How old are your kids?" with "I have a U8 and a U10".

You have to use a grandparent to take kid #1 to a tournament because Dad is at a different game with kid #2 and Mom had kid #3 two cities away in another tournament all in one weekend.

You find yourself missing the parents of your child's teammates during the off-season.

You wonder, "What's an off-season?"

You refuse to make any plans with your friends until you check your kids' soccer schedules.

You have been barred from the sidelines more than once. (I don't actually know anyone who has, though we do a lot of self-banning.

You have had the kids ask if Christmas is "home or away".

You yell at your kid to get up and shake it off, even after the ambulance arrives.

You need to budget for a new portable chair every year.

You have woken up in the middle of the night yelling "Get it out of there".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just finished a nonfiction project that had me delving pretty deeply into some current topics. I have come to two conclusions. Before this, I was, let's say, 94% convinced of their truth, but still believed there were exceptions. Now, if there's any optimism left in me, you'd need a microscope or maybe a gas chromatograph or something to find it.

1. All politicians suck. No exceptions.

2. There isn't even a semblance of objectivity in today's journalism. Everything is op ed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, HOW awesome was Supernatural last night?

I have a residual cough from my recent cold, and it tends to recur at night, and reclining on the couch irritates my lungs or something. Turns out, laughing's enough to stimulate a fit, and Dean nearly sent me into mechanical pneumonia.

I know I don't need to say it again, but...Jensen Ackles is a brilliant actor. He went from over-the-top goofiness with the girly scream and "that was skeery!" grin (which I had to pause while Number One and I collected ourselves, then rewind and watch again) to sheer, incredibly subtle terror when he saw Luther in the corner.

Of course, brilliance is easier when you're given brilliant lines and direction. No way to tell how much was him and how much was fed to him, but the basic writing, at least, was excellent. I looked up who wrote this episode, and was surprised to see two names I didn't recognize, Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin. This episode is the only true writing credit either has (according to IMDb, I didn't look beyond that). Color me even more amazed.

Let us not forget Jared Padalecki, who had to play straight man and did it as brilliantly as Jensen did the opposite. When his eyes flashed yellow at the end, it wasn't just the connotation that gave me a visceral gut reaction. His entire demeanor sent waves of shock (and, okay, I'll admit it, heat!) through me.

Then there's Bobby, who's such a Mary Sue (Japanese!) but you can't hate him for always knowing the answer. And they brought back Sierra McCormick, who's so good she makes me forget she's a little girl. I adore when she calls Dean "silly goose."

And we can't forget the supporting players off screen, those responsible for filming in light that shows us how green Jensen's eyes are and framing Jared so perfectly, and the gorgeous shot of the valley the mill is in, and the amusingly horrifying way Luther's head pops off and dissipates into smoke, as well as the white/green effect of Sam's eyes that tell us it's a hallucination with just a hint of doubt.

Kudos, too, for infusing a show meant to evoke laughter with such poignancy. Luther and his brother John won't get the credit they deserve (except from equally obsessive fans like me), but my heart broke for the poor guy when he cradled the kitten, and when they were pushed to do the same horrible thing to him that had been done when he was alive.

Megan, David Mattey/Luther is 6'10"!!! Who knew someone could dwarf Sam, never mind toss him around like a rag doll?

Man, I love this show.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last week, a friend called, and asked why I was down that day. I blamed the base of my mood on the Patriots' huge loss the night before, which she really didn't understand. I get where she's coming from. I think "geez, people, it's just a game!" on a regular basis. But whether they win or lose DOES have a lingering effect on me, so I couldn't help exploring why.

I came up with identity. Your sports team is part of what makes you, you. It's often about pride of place, about connecting to the region that raised you. If you still live there, it's community. Shared goals and needs, bonding and making connections with people you might otherwise absolutely despise, except for this thing you have in common. If you've moved away, it's an anchor or a touchstone, something that connects you to where you came from, makes you belong. Some people chose their team for a different reason, maybe because a beloved family member liked that team, or a boyfriend/girlfriend, or because you moved to that area at some point in your life and it has meaning because of that connection.

Not everyone needs that, and many people find it in different things. But for those of us who like competition (and you all know I'm muy competitive!) and have forged this connection for one reason or another, it sinks deep into us. And anything that is that strong is going to have a powerful effect on emotion or mood.

If you didn't "get it" before, you still won't, and that's okay. It's just a thing. Sometimes, I have a need to exposit. :) If you "get it" but have a different idea, or disagree, feel free to say so!

And Go, Pats!

Where You Can Find Me

I have finally finished my Romance Wiki update! It's a cool place to find everything romance related, and it has everything about my books all in one place.

Where else do I hang out online, besides here?

Well, for the semi-regular ramblings about life and all it contains, I blog the same stuff at the following places:

Blogger
MySpace
LiveJournal

Pick your favorite.

For more focused, writerly ramblings, you can find me at The Gab Wagon with Cathy McDavid, Monica Burns, and Mackenzie McKade. I blog on Mondays and comment all the other days of the week.

I also blog frequently at SciFi Chicks. This is a site with reviews, news, and commentary on all the SF, fantasy, and paranormal TV shows being broadcast today. It's not just me, I only do half a dozen shows. There are several very smart, very cool women posting there.

Then, of course, there's my regular website.

And, if you are in need of editing or proofreading services, you can peruse my Elance profile. (Note: I have no feedback in the last 6 months because I've been so busy, I haven't been bidding for jobs. But I do have 100% overall positive feedback!)

So there you have it. The ubiquitousness that is me on the web.

Geez, Hadn't Thought of That

I'm supposed to be writing. Well, I'm supposed to be updating my Romance Wiki, THEN writing. But I had to do this first. It's that instant gratification thing. And maybe the procrastination thing.

I rarely dip my toe into the Supernatural fandom. I have a few online acquaintances whose blogs I read, careful associations that are "safe" in that the posters and their commenters are mature and thoughtful and usually feel the way I do about the show. But every so often, they link to something that has exploded out there in the masses, and I dare to click the link, and I get splattered.

This time, the wank is about the Sam/Ruby issue, and it brought up a point I hadn't thought about. And, of course, I was compelled to comment.

First, some facts:

1. In "Lazarus Rising," when Dean finds Sam's hotel room, a half-naked woman opens the door. A short time later, Dean comments on a bra.

2. In a recent interview, Robert Singer said Ruby was possessing that woman at the time she opened the door.

3. Demons and spirits have made references to what Sam and Ruby are doing, and those references have sexual connotations.

4. Jared Padelecki, as quoted in an article, says he believes Sam and Ruby are doing something.

It has been pointed out that if Sam and Ruby are indeed having sex, and Ruby possessed a living woman who is now trapped in her body with no control over what the demon does to it, then that woman is being raped. This is a truth. (I'd say she's being raped by both Sam and Ruby, and that the possession itself is a form of rape.)

Now, of course no one wants their beloved Sam to have crossed that line, and apparently, the response has been over-the-top abusive to the people who have brought this up. That's unconscionable, and it disgusts me. No, we don't know what's happening yet, and maybe the implication is being misread, and that's fine. But if that is what's happening, it is rape. Period.

Now here's why I think that's not what's happening:

1. No matter how close they want to take Sam to the bad side, I really can't see them letting him cross over so completely. While Sam has disregarded the reality of Ruby's possession, and often considered individual life acceptable collateral damage in killing demons, this is something he would think about. Dean might not think that deeply when sex is involved, but Sam doesn't do casual sex.

2. We can't take demon references at face value. I mean, come on, they know how to push buttons and dig at people's tender emotional centers and twist truths to make them sound completely evil. I can see that maybe Sam has desire for the body housing Ruby, and an emotional connection to Ruby that could make him consider having sex with her, and then the demons using those feelings against him. Referencing them in a way that implies they are dirtier than they are, or have gone further than they have.

3. It's possible that Kripke and company haven't realized this factor is there. I find that hard to believe, unless the writing staff now has no women on it (and Sera Gamble obviously is in charge, so that's not the case). Even if they weren't aware of the implication, it's not too late to "fix" it. It has not been established that Sam has had sex with a possessed woman, so they can take that thread anywhere, including complete and honest denial that anything has happened.

So. That's what I think. Let's see if the wank follows me over here. :)

Speechless

I don't have anything to say about this episode of Supernatural. My sheer delight, my pure love, from the opening old-time credits to the curly The End, renders me unable to articulate anything intelligent.

I laughed a lot.

Jensen Ackles, in particular, is even MORE beautiful in black and white (who'da thunk?).

Music? Perfect.

Cinematography? Awesome.

Casting? Excellent, even for the females (especially Lucy). [Hey, there was a Lucy last season!]

I can never get enough of this show.

Music Mania

Number Two started viola lessons this summer, and those are in full force, along with orchestra, at school. Number One is not very thrilled with her continuing cello/orchestra lessons, but not unthrilled enough to give it up, and she also has music class this marking period.

Number One is playing a lot of keyboard in music class. She has started printing sheet music to play on the piano at home, and has written out some notes for her sister for some simple songs. Of course, these notes exist on the viola and cello, and the songs they play on the strings can be played on the piano.

Plus, they're writing their own songs.

The upshot is that my house is filled with live music at random times, which means my head usually has an original composition (nicely done but short and oh-so-catchy) going through it. When that's kicked out, it's by one of the songs Number One is trying. The one that prompted this blog post is "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music. I can't get. it. out.

The piano cover might get stuck closed in the morning. Accidentally, of course.

When There is No Right Answer

I was one of those kids who tested really well in school, and took great pride in doing so. The main factor in my success was a strong desire to do well, which meant being right.

That can be a detrimental trait in real life. Not that I can't admit to being wrong about something, or that I have problems with being wrong. I take great pains to admit when I'm wrong so that when I insist that I'm right, it has more weight. :)

No, there are other ways that my need to be right has potential to be problematic. Like taking a medical questionnaire. There are no right answers on there! But I feel like "yes" answers are wrong. I have to consciously consider my reality before answering certain things.

It's more of a problem at the eye doctor. You know the eye chart. You have to read progressively smaller lines of letters and numbers, and then she flips and spins lenses asking which is better, one or two, A or B. I squint at those little lines, and blinky-blinky forever, trying so hard to guess right.

This is stupid in two ways. First, she never tells me if I'm right or wrong. I noticed this when Number One was having her eyes checked, and I could clearly see the letters projected. When she said O instead of C, or Z instead of 2, the doc said "okay" or never told her what they actually were. So my need to be right will never be satisfied, because she won't tell me if I'm wrong!

The other way this is bad is, of course, because I'm not being tested on my ability to be right. I'm trying to get a pair of expensive contacts that correct my vision effectively, and being right but not really seeing what I'm being right about...well, that would make me wrong.

So there you have it. One of my rarely revealed flaws. Don't gloat too much. :)

Short Thoughts on "Metamorphosis"

Raise your hand if you think I can keep this short. Yeah, me, neither. But I'll try.

SPOILERS

Episode 4 every season is when they start easing away from the season's mytharc and doing stand-alone episodes, which makes most casual fans and even some obsessed ones really happy.

Seeing the preview, I didn't expect to like this episode as much. And in a ranking sense, this is 4 of 4. But despite a little heavy-handedness with the metaphor, it was still an excellent episode.

I wish Sam would stop saying he has demon blood in him. He DOESN'T. When you ingest something, your digestive system breaks it down and the PARTS go into your bloodstream. They don't last forever. The Barney Rubble vitamin you took when you were four is not still surging through your arteries. But the effects of the demon blood are obviously still in him, which is the point. So I guess I should shut up about semantics.

A lot of people think Sam's going to be, or is, addicted to the power. But his situation is not nearly so trite or straightforward. (Not that addiction is trite, of course. But storylines involving addiction often are.) The writers are keeping this as complex as possible. Sam's argument about the people he is saving with his power wasn't one Dean could easily counter. Dean mentioned the knife, Sam pointed out that the knife kills the person possessed, and that twists everything all up. Dean's way becomes the wrong way because it means killing innocents, while we can't see the downside to Sam's way. At least, not yet.

I think what I like best is that even as the brothers are changing, they are still consistent. Sam still thinks people can be saved, Dean still thinks evil needs to be stopped, even if it means destroying the good that coexists with it. Their personal argument hasn't changed that.

Since the brothers have been apart for four months and are at such odds, and in such pain because of it, it would be easy for one or the other to walk away. Yet it seems the bond is still strong enough that neither one is even considering it.

I was at IMDb trying to figure out when Castiel will be back and saw one-line writeups for the next four episodes. I don't like being spoiled, but I also want to know a little something about the future, and all of these made me squee instead of frown in disappointment. I can't wait.

Is it me, or is this season so far the goriest one yet? They're getting away with a lot. Almost enough to make me stop letting Number One watch, though her wrath would be mighty if I did.

Oh, one last thing. When Sam exorcised that demon from the guy at the beginning? The look Ruby gave him? Even more, the look he gave Ruby?

They are totally having sex.

A Few TV Notes

I'm watching so much TV this fall--a truly stupid amount, really--that I've refrained from posting about most of it. This would become a fully TV-oriented blog if I didn't. But now that most of the shows I watch have debuted, let me make some brief comments:

First, I caught the trailer for Castle, a midseason replacement starring Nathan Fillion. It's yet another (OMG, when will they stop?) police procedural, my least favorite genre, but I'm still very much there when it premieres. And solely because of Nathan Fillion's character and performance. He's hilarious, gorgeous, and delightful.

But until then...

Monday
Man, Monday is packed. Some of the shows already rumored to be at risk would be better served, probably, if they were moved to the lighter Tuesday or Wednesday nights.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles started off with a bang and an awesome opening sequence, sputtered for a couple of weeks, and came back full force this week with a stellar episode. Unfortunately, it's facing cancellation already, and that pisses me off. There are far worse shows with worse ratings that have been kept for years and years. Come on, morons, do the math. You need to fill 70 hours of programming every week. Every show can't be in the top 20. Let it go, and accept your niche audiences. Fix the system.

How I Met Your Mother has been a little flat. Chuck is fun and stuff, but must start to grow a little or I'll get bored. Prison Break is surprisingly great and I'm so glad I caught up with last season and kept watching. Other people have already compared its vibe to Ocean's 11 and that's apropos, though PB is much darker and has much higher stakes. The conflicts and relationships and constantly shifting alliances are compelling instead of off-putting. And now Michael's health has put a ticking time bomb on the show, one that makes me afraid.

My Own Worst Enemy starts next week and I really hope it rocks, because, you know. Christian Slater. Me = slave to child of the 80s.

Tuesday
Fringe and The Mentalist are both okay. I really like the main character on The Mentalist. If Fringe were canceled tomorrow (which it won't be, it just got a full-season pickup) I wouldn't care. I like it, but distantly.

Wednesday
I was never a cult-level fan of Pushing Daisies. It's cute, and I like all the characters, but it's not a show I ever think about much after it's over, or am excited about seeing before it starts. Private Practice has caught me a little better. Partly because Dell is made of awesome (not the Dean Winchester flavor, though) and partly because they started off with a bunch of tough conflict that stirs things up pretty well. It's very emotional, and you can look at a room full of the ensemble cast and think, "Yeah, every one of them f**ked up good," but still care about them despite it.

Thursday
I caught a blog post the other day that said Supernatural is not the best show on TV. I take exception to that statement. Not because I think the statement is wrong, but because it's one of those opinions masquerading as fact. SPN is the show *I* think is the best one on TV. How do I measure that? Mostly by how I feel leading up to show time, while I watch it, and when I talk about it/watch it again. But someone who doesn't like horror/paranormal stuff or complex family relationships or shows that take place mostly at night probably wouldn't agree. There are people who think Grey's Anatomy is the best show on TV, or 30 Rock. But I didn't care about anyone on Grey's the one time I tried to watch it, and I thought everyone on the pilot of 30 Rock was an idiot pretending that everyone around them was a genius. Maybe the show got better, but that's not my point. My point is...just like with books and movies, it's all subjective. There are "objective" criteria that we can apply, but good writing, acting ability, and cinematography are still things that one person can love and another hate. There's no way to say any particular show is the best one on TV, so you also can't unequivocally state that any one show is not the best one on TV.

Unless it's Knight Rider.

Eleventh Hour starts this week, but I'm not fussed. It sounded better than it looks, and I think I already pointed out the OMGalready factor of yet another police procedural.

Friday
I really like The Ex List, a show that may or may not be ruined from its cute-but-not-annoying-or-exaggerated presentation once they burn through the episodes done by creator Diane Ruggiero before CBS chased her off for being, presumably, funny and fun and relatable rather than melodramatic or stupid. So I watch with trepidation.

Numb3rs remains consistently good, not great, a show I'm happy to have on my DVR but wouldn't cry about losing.

Anyone watch Valentine last Sunday? We recorded it but probably won't watch until the weekend. Is it worth it?

How are you feeling about the fall season so far?

Just For the Record...

If you've seen this:

Oh, and just a side note, Dean Winchester is NOT made of awesome. Awesome is made of Dean Winchester.

on boards and forums and comms and blogs and such, you should know.

Megan Hart is the originator.

It's been around enough that I could probably get away with claiming I said it, and boy, I wish I had. It sums up everything. But I didn't. See?

Moments of Panic and Appreciation

*brrrrinnngg, brrrinnggg*

Me: Hello?

Instant Alert: "This is the middle school vice principal. Your kid's not here, and you failed to call us. Do it now."

Me (calling the number given): Hi, I just got an instant alert that my kid's not there and she's supposed to be.

Secretary: Let me transfer you to attendance.

Attendance Secretary: She was marked absent in homeroom.

Me: !!!! Well, can you please check, because last time I saw her she was at the bus stop, and if she's not in school, I have to call the police.

Attendance Secretary: Um...hold on.

Me: *holding, annoyed*

Attendance Secretary: She's in Algebra.

Me (ignoring the fact that she takes Geometry--it's the same teacher, so whatever): Well, phew!

Attendance Secretary: I'll ask the homeroom teacher what happened.

Me: No, thanks, I'll do it.

Me, e-mailing teacher: WTF?

Teacher, in amazingly fast response: So sorry, miscommunication here, you're a great parent, etc.

Me: *iz pleased*

So, from panic to pleasure in 5.6 minutes. I still need to find out why Number One wasn't in homeroom, but I'm sure she has a good explanation. If not, well, I'll just have to switch my perspective from Beaming, Proud Parent of Mild Overachiever to Suspicious, Paranoid Parent of Master Manipulator.

And MAYBE...

Another thought about destiny:

Destiny doesn't have to be absolute.

For example, destiny might dictate whether I'm going to be a mega-bestseller or a moderately successful author whose greater value is in helping other authors on their paths to success.

But destiny probably does not dictate whether or not I remembered to pick up the dry cleaning on my way home today (I didn't).

And probably, "destiny" cannot be determined for certain in most circumstances. So let's look at the show again. It was destiny for Mary to make that deal with Yellow-Eyes, which Castiel knows because he tried to "change" it and it couldn't be changed. But that doesn't mean that every single decision made and action taken is destiny and PREdestined, and they can't know in advance which things are and which aren't.

One other thought...

Number One and I were talking about Mary's story, and discussing when it was that Eric Kripke and/or the writers figured out what it was. One of the things I love about writing, and being a seat-of-the-pants writer, is when I figure out a fact about my characters or events and then go back to insert the clues that lead up to that fact, only to find that they are already there. It always impresses me when that happens. :)

So...

Did Eric Kripke know, when he first put Mary on the page, that the circumstances of her death were not a random occurrence? That it was actually Mary that caused YED to pick Sam? Did he know that YED's endgame would extend beyond his death?

Or did they decide, as season 2 neared and they were connecting Mary's death/Sam's selection to the current chosen-kids battle, that she had greater involvement? And if they decided then, was it just that she recognized him and they'd figure out why later? Or have they been holding on to all that for all this time?

As I type that, I remember them saying that a lot of the Mary stuff had to be set aside for season 4 because of the strike, so they probably knew, when they scripted the "You!" moment, why she recognized him. It will still be interesting to hear from Eric when that developed, if anyone ever asks him.

Supernatural: "In the Beginning"

I typed as I watched this time:

Dammit, Sam, sneaking out again. So not liking that. And Dean, never knowing? Wake up, boy!

Why do they always drive muscle cars? Did the waitress Ruby is possessing own it, or did Ruby steal it? Three eps, same Ruby. Maybe they won't be changing the actress.

The screams in Dean's dreams sound like an amusement park. Deliberate for maximum creepiness?

Damn Castiel's crypticity.

Hee, cell phone went with Dean. Whole jacket, with journal, in fact. He wakes up later with the jacket on him, but I didn't catch if he had it on him in the beginning. I don't think so. So Castiel made sure he had it. (Since Castiel touched his forehead, I'm of the belief that Dean didn't actually "travel"--it happened all in his head.

LOVE the Back to the Future references, like squeal-and-hug love.

I think young John is perfectly cast. You know, as far as casting someone who looks the right age but otherwise not nearly enough like someone ten years from now--no one is that different IRL without, like, losing a lot of weight or something. But it's a lot harder to unage an actor than to age him.

Castiel looks away when he fibs to Dean about time bending. I wonder if that's a tell.

The car! The kind of interaction Dean and John never had as adults in real life. So poignant.

Dean VanHalen. He couldn't come up with something less weird? LOL

I didn't at first see any real flaws in this episode, but watching again, I'm thinking about how John in the future is shaped as much by his military background as by the hunting. That doesn't really show here. He's described and portrayed as "sweet." Though we don't know what happens over the intervening 10 years. Maybe he's still in the service and just on leave, or goes back for a while like my father did.

Young Mary is awesome. I never thought "hunter," with all the possible reasons she recognized Yellow-Eyes in season 2. I love that her fighting fits the time period. It looks like the 70s, not like our 21st-century wire-supported fancy fighting.

Mitch Pileggi was perfect. He even channeled Fred's version of YED, but that's later. As a father, he's very much like what John becomes after Mary's death.

How funny is it that Dean was named after his grandmother?

They have lots of great lines, especially the references to how people are now that contrast with what happens in the future. Like "can you imagine John mixing with spirits?" and Mary not wanting her kids to grow up like she did.

Mary's smile at her dad's pom-pom comment (at the farm) tells us as much about her as any exposition or action could.

Father Cheney! Ha! And Dean is already clicking with him like a grandson, taking the mickey out of him.

This scene with Charlie starts the roll of information that just keeps flattening me every time I recover from a revelation. Yellow-Eyes making deals? Not revealing what he wants? Then we find out this is how he picks his kids, gets access. And it keeps going, and going... Even though Fred Lehane can't reprise his role, I really love that they still have connections to him in the "new" mythology of the show.

I love that Deanna isn't just the wife of a hunter. She's part of it, and leaves the impression that she's as competent as her husband (even though she's totally helpless against the demon).

"My dad could see the future." Haha! I guess it was hard to come up with something better.

The next part, Dean saying goodbye to Mary, is heartbreaking. Her not telling John about the world she tried to leave behind, and her wish for the boys not to be raised in it, was instrumental in making it happen. Very Greek tragedy.

One of my friends and I talked about how before this, we knew Mary as sweet and John as tough, and in the past it was the opposite. I said we only saw Mary from that five minutes in the pilot, a very brief moment as a mom in "Home," and through the eyes of a grown-up four-year-old's fantasy. We don't know that she didn't carry her toughness, her strength, into her non-hunting life. Also, all those friends of hers that Sam found out had died? That Yellow-Eyes apparently killed? I think she didn't fully leave hunting. Probably didn't hunt herself, but stayed connected somehow.

Damn, Jensen Ackles is an amazing friggin' actor.

Nice avoidance of the question, Castiel. I think he was just trying to get the measure of Dean here. How he feels about family is going to be instrumental in his influence over Sam.

Interesting that Elkins remained in the same place for 40 years. Doesn't seem typical of hunters.

I think when Castiel said he could bend time, he really meant he could bend perception and reality. He inserted Dean into a depiction of the events of the past without really changing them. I'm guessing in the real past, Mary's friendship with Liddy is what led her across the path of the demon. There wasn't something in place already to negotiate with--no abusive dad or dying family member--so he created something. Her father probably did go after him in some way and get killed, but not because Dean orchestrated events.

Something was obviously off about Samuel asking for the gun, but I didn't see possession coming! I think the moment when he put his thumbs to his eyes, kind of covered his face, is when YED took over. His demeanor was different when he spoke again. But subtle, just a little determined, a little hard. Masterfully acted.

After that, it's shock after shock.

The war wasn't the end game? What was? And how can it still matter, since Azazel is completely gone? Or is he? Is someone else putting it into motion? Lilith?

So Sam doesn't actually have demon blood "in him." This always bothered me, the way he said it and the way people talk about it. He ingested it, didn't have it injected wholly into him. His body would digest it and break it into parts. I am not part cow because I've eaten juicy steak. But here, YED explains it. It's like taking medication or steroids. Doesn't make him part demon, just gives him some abilities. Power. And since he's lived his whole life as a good person, it's pretty clear that he's still in control. Just like with any power, what he does with it and what it does to him is up to him.

More shock. John's dead, and my stomach is sinking. This is how he gets Sam. It's so inevitable and inescapable.

Ew! No kissing!

He makes the deal sound so innocuous. She's stupid. But young, and desperate, and suddenly orphaned, and 10 years is a long time away, and I'm sure she can't imagine him demanding something worse than what's happening right now.

EW! I SAID NO KISSING!!!

Damn, I hate when they escape like that. It happens a lot, the demon leaving the body just before it gets ganked.

Mary looks at Dean, and knows what she's done, you can see it. Not the details, but the truth of it, the kind you feel in your gut. She's never going to be the same. (Well, she wasn't going to be, anyway, but...)

Castiel says they don't know what Azazel's end game IS. Present tense. So that implies that he's still in the game. Interesting.

He also says, "Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination."

It sounds contradictory in combination with his order to Dean to stop Sam, but I don't think anything Castiel says is that straightforward or can be taken at face value. He told Dean they could bend time, and to "stop it," but he didn't mean stop what happened in the past--the truth was completely different from Dean's interpretation of his words. So we just have to wait and see.

But if we assume, for the sake of argument, that Castiel is really on earth under God's command, trying to stop Lucifer from being freed, then we have to also assume he doesn't believe his own statement. If destiny can't be changed, God and the angels can stay out of it, and it will happen anyway. They can protect themselves. Remain in the rarified air where they spent their last 2,000 years.

If it's destined for Lucifer to get free, or not, either way, why bother to get involved? There's nothing worse than the fruitlessness of knowing that if the wrong thing is destined, there's nothing you can do. The absence of hope rests on the side of evil, not good.

So it's possible he meant it the way I took it at first, that once something has happened, you can't alter it. If it hasn't happened yet, you can have an impact on events. If so, "destiny" is the wrong word, because it defies time.

Since they don't know where Sam's road is going, they don't know if his destiny is good or bad. Perhaps it's Dean's destiny to save Sam from making a horrible decision. If so, then Castiel didn't need to educate him on the past. If he needed to know, he'd find out a different way. It kind of all feeds into the Greek tragedy subtext, because in Greek tragedies, if people didn't get prophecies, they wouldn't do the things that fulfilled them.

There are other possibilities. The absence of hope rests on the side of evil, not good. So maybe Castiel isn't good.

Or maybe he is, and he's still lying. Maybe he knows what path Sam is going down, and that he's part of Azazel's end game. Or maybe destiny isn't written in stone, but he just said what he said so Dean wouldn't focus too hard on his failure to stop what already happened and fail to focus on stopping what still could happen.

Man, my head would hurt if I wasn't in so much glee.

So yeah, they're even heavier into the possibility of pitting brother against brother, something I really didn't want them to do. I'm okay with Sam and Dean employing different means to aim for the same goal (something touched upon in "Time is on My Side" last season) and being at odds about that. But I really don't want them to be actively against each other, like Buffy-killing-Angelus-who's-now-Angel-to-save-the-world against.

But even if they take us down that road, if they do it with the skill of what they gave us in this episode, I don't think I'll mind a bit.

Holy You-Know-What, Fans...and Yeah, It IS Spam, You Idiots

I'm not going to say much about Supernatural yet, since I want to watch it again and make comments as I go. There's so much. Mary was a hunter, OMG! Yellow Eyes was in Grandpa, OMG! They surprised me both times. The writing was so good, tying so much up so nicely. I have to admit, they're going places I really, really don't want them going, but I can't complain, because they are doing it with such amazing skill.

So I get this e-mail today from Superior Responder something-or-other. It says it's not spam, because it came from Superior Responder something-or-other. It goes on to thank me for requesting information and gives me a link. They don't say what information I requested. They have absolutely no product info or any hint of what company they are autoresponding for. And they supply two links that are full of junk--again, no hint. AND they send the e-mail to an e-mail address that's active and forwards to my real e-mail address, but which I never ever use and haven't for about 5 years. So HELLO! Unwanted, unsolicited, vague mail with suspicious links = SPAM.

Dumbasses.

You're Gonna Vote, Right?

Yeah, I know. Everyone hates celebrity PSAs, especially regarding politics, because they're out of touch with the real world, who the hell are they to tell me blah blah blah.

But!

1. This isn't about politics. It's about voting.

2. It's really, really funny.

Warning: Profanity Inside



For the record, I'm registered, have been since I was old enough, though I confess I haven't voted in every election (every presidential one, though!). I take my kids with me to the polls, and we talk about the candidates on our way over. And someday, I'm going to exert myself to try to do something about the fact that my state disenfranchises me in the primaries. Honest.

SPN Tidbit, Kinda Spoilery

A lot of the discussions I've been in have talked about how Ruby's so different, even in a different body she'd act the same. I said Lillith sent her far away, I imagine whatever happened to her would subdue her somewhat.

VINDICATED! \O/

I heard that there is a reason why, in the Supernatural premiere, Ruby seemed to have changed into a nicer demon. Do you know what it is? — Laura
Matt: I chalked it up to the fact that Ruby now inhabits Genevieve Cortese's body, but there's more to it than that. As series creator Eric Kripke tells the Buzz, "One reason she's nicer is because she spent a few weeks in a particularly nasty corner of Hell, being punished by Lilith's minions. That would humble just about anyone. As to whether Ruby is hiding some ulterior motive....tune in to find out." By the way, this week's "origins" episode? Not. To be. Missed. (On a related note, check out my Q&A with X-cellent guest-star Mitch Pileggi.)

Back To School Night

I know. An entire month into the school year, only a week before interim reports are sent home, and the middle school does back-to-school night. Seems like it would be helpful to have it sooner, but I guess the teachers need a chance to settle in before they have to face the parents.

Middle school BTS night is a lot different from elementary BTS. Elementary BTS you squeeze into tiny chairs at tiny desks and have the teacher talk at you for half an hour, basically reading the policies that have both been sent home already, and are sitting in front of you. There might also be some awkward chit-chat with parents you don't know, or animated chit-chat with parents you do know.

At the middle school, the kids change classes. They have up to 8 different teachers in a day. So for BTS, you go to their homeroom for a presentation on Wildcat TV by the guidance counselors and principal/vice principal, who stick in a couple of jabs at each other's football teams while they're telling us what we're in for.

Then we spend 10 minutes in each classroom our kids are in that day, with three minutes between "classes"--just like the kids get. We have to find classrooms on the map and bustle through the halls, and damn, if it doesn't feel like *I'm* in school all over again. Wondering if that mom is still mad at me for some reason and is going to avoid eye contact with me. Laughing that I run into that mom in every classroom, and funny how Number One never mentioned that her son is in so many classes with her. It's kind of fun, actually. After all the classes are done, we get to have refreshments in the cafeteria! Yummy cookies.

Some random thoughts I jotted while I was there:

1. I miss chalkboards.

There's something special about the sound and feel of chalk on a chalkboard. Now they have whiteboards, and those are more versatile (colors!), but not the same. Number One's computer class has a "Smart Board." It's a giant touch screen monitor connected to the laptop AND the desktop. Very cool...but not the same.

2. Learning-Focused Schools versus tons of information

A couple of years ago, our district adopted something called "Learning-Focused Schools." It dictates how the curriculum is run, and for the most part, in practice, it seems to be a good thing. But since No Child Left Behind, even in this stellar school district there have been changes. They're more apparent at the elementary level, as things have become more homogenized and less challenging. I hate the term "Learning-Focused Schools." What were they focused on before, if not learning? They're less focused on learning now, and more on memorizing and scoring well on tests and I promise I'm stopping there. I try really hard not to do politics here.

Anyway. The problems at the elementary level seem to have a bit less of an impact at the middle school level. Some of the teachers talked about the tons of information they will be getting through, and showed us some of the curriculum, and talked about preparing for high school, and of course I've seen it in practice in Number One's homework and assignments. I just hope Number Two doesn't get dumbed down in the two years she has left before she gets to the middle school and there's more flexibility.

3. Despite the problems related to #2, this is an awesome school district

Every teacher talked about the turnout they get for BTS Night, and raved about the involvement of the parents and the quality of students they have. I think Number One just has an exceptionally good class, because I've heard it all her life, how wonderful they are. But every single teacher was enthusiastic and excited about teaching, no matter how many years they've been doing it. Every one clearly loves their job, is sincere about loving the kids, and appreciates the parents we have. It was emphasized more by teachers who've worked in or know teachers in other districts. It makes me really grateful, because that enthusiasm and love for the job are really the top criteria for giving kids a good education. Everything else streams from that.

4. Number One is really lucky. All of her teachers are FUNNY.

She's talked about a couple of them, telling me things they've said in class and stuff, but I got to see it firsthand. One teacher was a little more subdued than the rest, and one was very no-nonsense and focused, but they all had great senses of humor. I'm jealous.

5. The kids are paying attention

The history teacher said the whole class has unprecedented interest in the election this year. She's been teaching 8th grade American History for 15 years, and says it's never been like this. I saw it in Number One, who came home all indignant about the candidates and their double-speak and their stand on certain issues that we have rarely talked about in our house, but it's interesting to hear it's not just her.

As a parent, it's nice to feel your kid is in a good place six hours a day, five days a week.

Yeah, All Problems Should Be So Huge

Our "new" DVR box in the family room was rattling up a storm, so when I called DirecTV last week to deactivate the extra access card, I mentioned it. The rep ordered me a "new" box, and I got it hooked up today. Luckily, tonight's shows appear in the guide, even though tomorrow's (and beyond) don't. Monday is our heaviest DVR night: Chuck, Prison Break, How I Met Your Mother, 2.5 Men, Terminator, and Heroes (and My Own Worst Enemy later this month).

We only fit everything because, as previously mentioned, I moved the TiVo box up to the bedroom when I got the new DVR box. (I don't know if I said...the problem with having to reset the TiVo all the time because it loses contact with the satellite is definitely a problem with the box itself, because we have to do it upstairs now, too. It's less of an issue up there, though). And thank goodness we did that (moved the TiVo), or I'd no longer have my first two episodes of Supernatural to watch over and over between now and next year's DVD release. Yes, I recorded it both places. Big deal.

Anyway, next week and the week after and at least one more time after that, we have a problem. Either the Patriots or the Browns are on Monday Night Football, which means we have to skip recording a couple of shows.

I know. World ending, huh? I'm ashamed to even call it a "problem."

But it does serve a purpose. Whenever I have these itty-bitty things to complain about, it illustrates how good my life is. This isn't the only problem I have to worry about, but hey--if I have energy to fret over TV, the other things can't be all that bad, either.

So, hey, remember my novella, Renegade? It got a review! A very nice one, at that, so thank you, Abi! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.










While you're checking out Renegade, don't forget my latest novella, Letting Go. Zack is the template for all young men--I beseech mothers to raise their boys to be like him! Since I have two daughters who will be seeking his like in the way-not-far-enough-distant future. :)

September is almost over--I'd love to make the bestseller list!

And the Awesomeness Continues

I wasn't expecting to like last night's episode of Supernatural as much as premiere. The premise had potential to be lame, and come on, how can you beat shadow wings? And Misha Collins?

So I was thrilled that I loved it just as much.

I loved the brothers debating the whole angel thing--amusingly, without bringing up the LAST time they debated the whole angel thing. I loved the pie. I loved how the spirits of Meg and Henricksen and Ronald had pure logic about how Sam and Dean have failed them, yet were also unfair. Meg's demon and Lilith and Ronald himself (and the shifter and the police/FBI) were the responsible parties. But they were hard to argue with.

I loved Bobby's little girls. So heartbreaking, and excellent performances.

I loved the whole pie thing, and Bobby's panic room, and his Giles moments (ref. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I TOTALLY love the way they're handling the religious mythology. Bobby saying the widely distributed version is for the tourists, but basically Revelations--that's moving it into the realm of legend, making it bigger than any particular religion.

I stay away from broad fandom discussions. My little group of insanely obsessed passionate fans is eclectic--we have churchgoing Christians, Jews, athiests, and people whose religious affiliation is unknown to me, and we all love the show equally and can have intellectual discussions about it without ranting or attacking. But apparently there are people out there who get really offended when the show "bashes" their chosen religion.

I just want to say that portraying a few "bad" witches or a few "bad" Christians or a few flesh-eating pagans is not even CLOSE to condemning the entire group. Acting like that's what they're doing is like bashing sitcoms for saying all moms are shrews and all dads are fat idiots.

I'm excited about the exploration of this mythology and invite anyone who wants a non-religion-bashing discussion to head on over here! I'd be delighted to discourse!

Some other thoughts:

I want to thank either Sera Gamble or Jared Padalecki, whomever is responsible (whether it was in the script or ad libbed) for having Sam say thank you when Bobby handed him the paper to draw the brand. One of my biggest pet peeves is that people don't ever say thank you on TV. Granted, this was a toss-off, not a favor or a compliment, but it was still nice to see. Keep up the good work.

Sam sleeping. The way he has his head turned all the way to the side, and his arms draped across his torso...no man has ever looked so appealing asleep. I'd brave morning mouth to wake that up.

Speaking of sleeping...Bobby's house is huge. Why weren't the boys in an upstairs bedroom? I get that maybe they felt too vulnerable and wanted to stay near the witness-banishing tools/fire. But Dean didn't look very comfortable--not even a pillow!--and where was Bobby?

I felt so bad for Castiel. I kept licking my lips for him. And he lost 6 of his brothers. And Dean's both all "why me? no way" and "hey, what about me?" practically in the same breath. I'll be glad when he reaches the point where he can turn the focus outward. It stands to reason that he's not there yet. But he will be, and I'm looking forward to it.

One last thing: I saw some preview pix earlier in the week and was all excited about Dean being in a t-shirt again. Not that I didn't love the tight long-sleeve shirt (with hanger nipples in the shoulders!). But apparently they shot a lot of stuff that didn't make the cut, or they took photos of rehearsal, because not only Dean, but Henricksen was dressed differently in the kitchen. I'll be looking at preview pix with skepticism from now on.

Bring on the time travel!

Friday Things

Things I Don't Like About Fridays

1. Getting up early.

2. Getting up early is really super hard now. (Except today, Number Two came in and said, "Aren't you getting up? It's...oh. It's only 5:40." And, of course, I was dreaming about Sam and Dean.)

3. The whole week is behind me, so I can lament all the things I didn't get done, and probably one of those is cleaning, which means I have to clean.

4. I'm almost too late to meet my weekly writing goal and have to work super hard to make it.

Things I Love About Fridays

5. It's the last day of the week! Chances are kinda good that we can sleep in at least a little tomorrow, unless there's a soccer away game that's really far. And we can definitely sleep in Sunday.

6. Better mail! Friday is the best mail day of the week, hands down.

7. Obligations are minimal.

8. Fun things are often scheduled for Friday, and if not Friday, then the weekend, family time. Whether we're hanging out in the living room reading or heading off to a movie or to the park to do some extra soccer drilling, there's always plenty of together time.

9. TV catch-up. J and I often watch our favorite "both" shows on Fridays. ("Both" shows are shows we both like to watch--there aren't many.)

10. Talking about Supernatural! Whether I'm just blogging about it or commenting on other people's blogs or exchanging e-mails with my friends who watch it, there's always plenty to talk/think about, and it makes the day something to look forward to.

Thursday Things

Things I Don't Like About Thursdays

1. Getting up early.

2. Paying bills.

3. Thursday errands take time away from whatever else I have to/want to do.

4. The day goes reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy slowwwwwllllyyyy.

Things I Love About Thursdays

5. It's always been the quietest day of the week, in any job I've ever been in. Quiet days can be boring, depending on the job, but they are usually a huge relief, and very productive.

6. Good mail! I usually get a magazine and/or Netflix disks, a little junk, and NO bills.

7. No running around at night (most weeks). Soccer practices are all done, we don't do dance class anymore...that means everything is more relaxed, from homework to dinner to bedtime to TV.

8. I actually like my Thursday errands, which are usually library, comic book store (usually nothing for me, but I like doing something that makes J smile), post office (which may have something cool in my box but usually doesn't), oh, and a café mocha at my favorite coffee place. You know, Whipped Cream Delivery System number one. :)

9. Payday! Every other week, anyway.

10. It's Thursday! Which means...duh...Supernatural is on! This time of year, it's ALWAYS new, and ALWAYS great, and ALWAYS makes me super happy.

Thursday is my favorite day of the week!

Wednesday Things

Things I Don't Like About Wednesdays

1. Getting up early.

2. Getting up early feels a lot more difficult.

3. There's nothing special about Wednesday.

Things I Love About Wednesdays

4. Tomorrow's Thursday!


I'd really have liked to have 10 things, but ref. #3.

Tuesday Things

Things I Don't Like About Tuesdays

1. Getting up early.

2. Daily chores.

3. Everyone's Monday work means lots of Tuesday work for me.

4. Trying to get into the writing after (probably) three days away from it.

Things I Love About Tuesdays

5. Neato Burrito's salsa of the day! It's a jalapeño feta with a sour cream base and lime juice, and it's wonderful. When I worked two blocks away from NB, I got a burrito-in-a-bowl on chips, no beans, no meat, no rice, regular cheese (unmelted), lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, and salsa, every single Tuesday. Now I maybe do it once a month, if that. But even when I don't go, Tuesday is special because I could.

6. Both kids have soccer practice at the same time, which feels efficient.

7. New PFW in Progress and ESPN Football Today podcasts. Even when the Pats lost, I still like listening to the analysis.

8. It's only two more days until Thursday!

9. In a pay week, I have to pay bills. In a non-pay week, pay day is over a week away.

10. Even though I still have three more days of getting up early (likely four, with Saturday soccer), it feels good having most of the week still ahead of me. I have plenty of time to be productive.

Monday Things

Things I Don't Like About Mondays

1. Getting up early.

2. Post-football hangover (if they lost).

3. A full week of getting-up-early ahead of me.

4. A large to-do pile.

Things I Love About Mondays

5. I can pretend Sunday never happened (if they lost).

6. Terminator and Prison Break are new on TV.

7. I'm alone again after a full family-oriented weekend.

8. It's only three more days until Thursday!

9. It's a huge jump closer to payday, even if it's not a pay week.

10. It's a new week, and I can expect it to be better than the old one.

I'm Such a Rule-Follower

I've seen this meme twice now, and I feel too guilty ignoring it again. So I'm taking a page from Megan's book (not her book, actually, though that's a lovely set of covers--scroll down if you click over, see her meme post) and posting just a PART of me.

Take a picture of yourself right now. Don’t change your clothes. Don’t fix your hair. Just take a picture. Post that picture with no editing. (Except maybe to get the image size down to something reasonable. Don’t go posting an eight megapixel image.) Include these instructions.

I didn't realize my lips are so damned crooked!

Wanna hear something weird?

I took Number Two to a local college's women's soccer game today. Guess who their opponent turned out to be? Never mind, you'll never guess. I'll tell you.

Ohio Wesleyan University!

What do you mean, so what? Haven't you memorized my bio? Sheesh. OWU is my alma mater! The reason I can check "Graduated College" in all those surveys. Anyway, I rooted for them instead of Messiah. They lost, 7-1. Messiah is scary good.

Football tomorrow! Man, I love fall weekends.

OMG That was AWESOME!

TOTALLY FILLED WITH SPOILERS! I MEAN IT!

On first watching, I loved everything about last night's episode of Supernatural. After discussion with some friends (some of us did a post-show chat last night, and I communicated with a few others about it) and a partial second viewing, I have a few nitpicks or less-than-thrillednesses. But overall, I'd say it was the best season premiere yet.

I recorded to VHS for a friend who doesn't have cable and watched a little as it recorded, taking notes. But the phone rang halfway through so the following thoughts will get less detailed and more sparse as I go. Please comment! I'm sure I'll have more to say later.

The flashes of Dean's eyes was excellently done. The bloody red, the panic, the screech. Then his sudden appearance in a grave.

Let's ignore the practicality regarding someone's ability to claw through six feet of dirt and just note the realistic rasp in Dean's voice. I wondered what Jensen had to go through to sound like that, because it was pretty real, and existed until he drank water in that store.

The blast area, the trees being down, with the aerial shot, made me go "Whoa!"

I don't like the new show logo as much. The wings are kind of cool, though too freak-me-out-ish, but the static reversion to season one...eh. I much prefer the colors and flames of the "going to commercial" or "returning from commercial" or whatever it is.

OMG, we get Dean in a t-shirt immediately! *hugs Kripke*

And Sam in a t-shirt not too much later! I know, I know, I'm jumping ahead, but let me just say...I love the filmed-in-July episodes!!!

When Dean was in that store...I know a lot of people will have something to say about his complete plundering of the inventory and cash register, so I won't bother. But I loved the detail--the cap from the water bottle falling to the floor when he's getting his drink. Drying his face on his shirt. Those kinds of things. Love it!

Which, of course, brings us to Dean examining his torso in the mirror. Despite my 13-year-old's inauguration into watching live prime-time TV, I rewound that part. I claimed it was to see if he had his tattoo (which of course I noticed the first time). They didn't buy it.

Jumping ahead again...I love Castiel. I hope he keeps possessing that guy. Several times my fellow fans have mentioned how ironic it is that an angel possessed a human in a demon-like manner, and the human is now going to die because he's been shot and stabbed. But I remind those people that Castiel restored Dean's body to near perfection after not only hellhound chew-toying, but four months decaying. He can fix the guy he possessed, easy.

Plus, he said the guy prayed for this. He looked a little rough around the edges. Like the guy he was in was living a bleak, hopeless life, perhaps one tainted by alcoholism or worse. Perhaps housing Castiel is his redemption, or part of it.

Okay, backing up...

When the TV, radio, etc., came on the first time, I thought maybe Dean was doing it somehow. Still thought it the second time. I wonder why Castiel tried a second time, knowing it didn't work? It kind of hints at the reality of the angels. That like demons, they have elements of humanity. Like the ability to make mistakes.

Whoops. Backing up again...

I loved the reunions. Again, it was all about the details for me. Bobby with the holy water cracked me up. Perfectly done. Dean fisting Bobby's shirt when they hugged. When it came to Sam, the hug tightened just a little at the moment when it probably would have ended. Some felt the reunions were a little flat, but I appreciated that they didn't drag it out, that everything kind of clicked. They went into mission mode, partnership...no wallowing in "bad four months" or whatever. Of course, on Sam's part, some of the glossing-over was due to his development of his abilities.

Why was it a rough four months for Bobby? Yes, he had to bury Dean, and felt the loss, and hurt for Sam, but was that all there was to it? If his wife's death drove him to drink, he was over it at this point, yet Dean's death led to bottles all over the house. So I'm wondering if there's been something else going on with Bobby, too.

I really liked that Dean asked why he was buried and Bobby's answer. It was what I expected, but they could have assumed we just knew that, and not addressing it would have been annoying.

Okay, I can't tell. Is the woman in Sam's hotel room (Cathy/Christie) the same woman with him in the diner (possessed by Ruby)? If she is, did Ruby take her over before Dean showed up, or after? If before, then she probably knew Dean was raised, which means Sam might have known, too, which might account for his low-key response to Dean's accusations (though if it wasn't that way, then I attribute Sam's low-keyness to maturity--he doesn't have to get defensive anymore).

I'm not buying that she was Ruby already. Ruby's too hard (though the actress didn't exactly try to emulate her attitude the way every actress who played the crossroads demon did, for example), and she wouldn't be interested in a physical relationship with Sam, so she wouldn't be hanging around in her underwear. And Sam's not that good an actor. He'd be behaving a little more weirdly, because Ruby wouldn't hide her presence, or he wouldn't expect her to, at least. I'm thinking, if that was the same woman, Sam just knew it was Ruby in there, either because of proximity or because of his abilities. Though he didn't seem to know the waitress was a demon, so maybe I'm way off and if I am, I don't think they did that whole element all that well.

Moving on...

I find it amusing and sad that Dean's all for going to the psychic for help, but Sam's a freak and he doesn't want him even thinking about using his abilities.

It bothers me (not in a "bad show!" way, but in a "boy, they're doing a job on me" way) that the boys are already lying to each other. I think Dean remembers more of hell than he's admitting, and Sam made a big mistake telling Dean flat out that he didn't go down that road. Things will be soooo much worse when Dean finds out now.

Okay, best part of the episode, bar none, was the iPod. The look on Dean's face when Sam said "I thought it was my car." The sheer JOY (in me!) when Jason Manns came on! And Sam's sheepishness at Dean's reaction. I loved it!

Speaking of looks on faces...Jensen nailed this episode. Every emotion was perfect, portrayed with subtle flickers of facial muscles or the look in his eyes. Where Jared seems to need a few episodes to feel Sam again, one would think Jensen had spent his summer in a pine box in the dark, waiting to get back with his crew.

Okay, here's where I get more vague 'cause from here I only watched it once...

If Pam knew Castiel's name, knew who he was (and I got the impression she did--at first, I thought he was trying to keep her from seeing some other being), why did she have to insist on seeing him? A name was better than a face. A face could be anyone, anything. A name can be researched. Though I do admit, the thing with the eyes was very effectively horrifying. Poor Pam.

The geography was kind of confusing. Dean drove his stolen car from Illinois to the Bobby Dimension (portals to every part of America!) and then had to go back to Illinois to get to Sam. Pam was four hours down the Interstate, but when Sam snuck out, he went back to Illinois to stake out the demons. Where did Bobby and Dean go at that point, to conjure Castiel? Were they near the hotel in Pontiac? Four hours from Sam?

I liked that they didn't drag out the question of who hauled Dean out, especially after hints about the beginning of season four implied that Dean was searching for answers for a while. His exact mission, what God and Castiel (if, indeed, it was at God's orders and if Castiel is really an angel and/or if angels really report to God) want from him, might go unsaid for a little while. But the mystery being at least partially answered right away is a good thing.

Best line of the episode: "You're not invited." We declined to explain that to Number One.

Evidence that Mommy needs to adjust pretty quickly to having a kid watching with her: When the mirrors over Dean were about to shatter and come down, I said "Shit!" rather audibly. It's not like she doesn't hear it at school, and possibly even say it (though I'm reasonably sure her profanity runs to milder words), I still strive hard not to curse in front of the kids.

So I think that covers it. I'm very happy. I can't wait for next week, and I'm soooooo glad it's only six days instead of four months!

Now please excuse me while I go check for Dean's *ahem* tattoo.

They're Getting Smarter, But *I'M* Not Stupid

When the phone rings at 4:19 a.m., it's never a happy call.

I should be glad that the one that came in this morning wasn't, say, my stepmother with news of my brother in Iraq. Or a frantic call from my mother-in-law asking us to meet them at the hospital. And I am. But I'm more pissed off.

We all know about phishing scams, right? Where you get an e-mail all set up in stolen HTML from a credit card company with a link for you to "verify your information." Well, they've gone low-tech.

Phone rings. I say hello. It clicks to a recording with a woman (who sounds just like most recorded messages) who says she's from Members 1st Federal Credit Union and my card has been suspended. To reach the security center, press one.

Now, I'm a pretty good waker-upper. It's really rare that I don't just snap into awareness and process things normally, even if I'm really tired. And I often start waking up sometime between three and four, and then keep waking up every 20 minutes or half hour until the alarm goes off. So 4:19 a.m. isn't a vulnerable time for me like it might be for a lot of people (clever bastards).

I don't have a Members 1st account of any kind, and neither does my husband (to my knowledge! LOL). And the recording didn't say what KIND of card. And since it was a recording and not a live person, they didn't say WHOSE card it was, which would be stupid because anyone could answer the phone. Every Christmas, when we go shopping for presents, our bank calls to verify purchases, either because we had a lot in one day or because we had a big-ticket item. If it was my husband's card, they won't talk to me. It has to be him. And it's a live person. So I knew from the get-go that this was a scam. But I was curious. So I pressed one.

The recording said again that my card was suspended, and to reactivate, press one. I did, and it asked for me to enter my card number. I mean, come on! THEY called ME. They're supposed to know my number. The whole thing is so obvious to be laughable. But it's also scary, because it will work. They will reach elderly people, people of diminished capacity, young people who don't pay attention or who are too busy thinking of sex and music to use logic, or even smart people who don't wake up that easily or are too distracted to think and who will pull out their Members 1st card, or even a different card, assuming that must be what the nice lady on the phone is talking about, and enter the number. And bam, credit card fraud that will kill their credit and follow them forever.

That really pisses me off.

I wasn't aware before today that this was a widespread issue. I checked the Members 1st web site today and they referred to it as "Vishing"--like phishing but with V for voice. Spread the word, so no one you know gets accidentally caught by this crap.

On a happier note...

...or at least, a more amusing one...

After the call, I had more vivid, intense dreams (I've been having them every night for ages). This one had something mundane, like housecleaning (dishes? laundry?) or soccer or something, with a mystical element. I remember waking up amused and thinking "mystical laundry" or whatever, but now I can't recall what the mundanity was. Anyway, between the call and the dreams, I was a little unfocused. I was thinking about our long-distance away games Saturday morning and thinking that was tomorrow, which means I was forgetting that today was only Thursday...

And then I remembered! Supernatural starts today! Woo hoo!

To whet your appetite:



(I didn't actually watch it myself, but enjoy!)

Around the Internet

When you see this, post another Supernatural quote in your lj (blog). Let’s see how long this can go on.

Dean: Are you drunk?
Sam: Yeah. So. Stupid.



I put up a review of Terminator: SCC on SciFi Chicks this morning (only a day late). Read my random thoughts on the second episode of the season.

One more day until Supernatural returns!

Consumering

It's a good thing the grocery store is less than a mile from my house. I'm there too many times a week. Yesterday I $75 worth of grocery shopping in the early afternoon. Two hours later, Number One comes home and needs cotton balls for her science experiment. So out I go again. It's like that several times a week.

Remember last month, how I had to fight with AT&T Wireless because they held on to my account for an extra day so they could charge me for another month? Remember how I asked politely, then less so, then yelled at the rep, and he put me on hold for 15 minutes but gave in at the end (sullenly and reluctantly)?

I just got my first Credo Mobile bill, and I had slightly less than one month prorated, and they started the billing on 8/11. Well, that doesn't work. AT&T didn't relinquish my account until 8/14. The day I activated the phones was the day I added the text service, and that prorated fee started the right day. 8/14. Could be infuriating, right?

But I called Credo, got a rep right away, explained the situation, and was given an immediate $6 credit with no argument. It's nice not to have to fight.

(I know $6 isn't much, but when you have a nearly $200 phone bill, every little bit helps!)

So kudos to Credo, and I heartily recommend them as a long distance and mobile phone company. (Don't forget, they also donate 1% of your bill to charitable causes AND give you free Ben & Jerry's ice cream!)

One of my pet peeves is slowness. It's a flaw in me, of course. I should have more patience. But people who walk slow bug me (when I'm behind them). Ditto people who drive ten miles below the speed limit. Sometimes they seem slow when they're doing the speed limit, but then I can't be annoyed because they're being good. Slow talking, slow thinking, even slow pacing in a book, movie, or TV show drive me nuts.

I like to use the U-Scan checkout at the grocery store so I have control over my scanning and bagging (mostly the bagging). I don't care if someone has six items or sixty-five. I don't mind waiting when the stations are full. But last night there was a woman who moved slower than molasses. I couldn't stand watching her, even though it didn't directly affect me. She wasn't old, and didn't appear to have any kind of physical deficiency (though that's not always apparent). She'd finished checking out and started moving her bags from the scale to her cart. I think she had one bag left when I moved past her and started my scanning. Granted, I only had one item, but I was done and out of there before she was.

That grocery store has a clerk who's often there when I am. She's very sweet, always greets me and asks how I'm doing and stuff. But it's kind of disconcerting when she's walking along, sees me, and stops to say hi and beam at me as if I'm a close friend and it makes her day to see me. Like it violates the code of comfortable customer service.

I know. I'm weird.

Hey, look at that! My post had a cohesive theme today!

Don't get used to it.

When Do I Ever Post Anything That's Not Randomness Anymore?

I can't seem to post on a single topic here anymore, even when I post more than once a week. Is that annoying?

While doing my post for The Gab Wagon today, I looked up all my Amazon rankings. Most of my paper titles are old, so their numbers are dismal (except Brianna's Navy SEAL, which was 658,733, which is higher than Megan Hart's Wish List and An Exaltation of Larks, and even her next book, Stranger! And yes, I measure myself against her All. The. Time. And usually come up wanting. :) ) Most of my Kindle titles haven't even achieved a ranking at all, but again, Brianna's Navy SEAL had an overall rank in the Kindle Store of 47,461. Since they advertise that Kindle has over 170,000 titles, that seems pretty good. I'm not complaining, anyway.

*Makes note to check ranking every day.*

Soccer season, the real one, is in full swing now. Both kids have played two games, both won both games, both are top of their divisions by either number of wins or goals scored/goals against. It's a nice feeling, especially for Number One, whose team has had varying levels of success but not this one. Number Two's team has yet to be tested, and we'll be up against a particular team (who beat us twice last fall) not once, not twice, but at least three times. We play them twice in the regular season and are bracketed with them in an October tournament. Should be interesting.

Football season, too, is in full swing. The Patriots are 2-0. They had a convincing win against the Jets yesterday. Matt Cassel looked good. Everyone can settle down now.

I have two really great things to look forward to this week. Tomorrow I'm going out to dinner with some friends. These are the ones I did the writing challenge with this summer. We're celebrating our hard work, discipline, and dedication. Someone's got to do it!

The other thing is, of course, the Supernatural premiere. There are two clips available online. One is, I think, the reunion scene, and I don't want to watch that one. I want to see it unfold. Even if I misunderstood what that clip is, I don't want to expose myself to too much. Anticipation is very high for this show, and if it's going to pay off, I want to give it the chance to.

However, I let a friend (damn you, Smith!) browbeat entice me into watching the second one, which showed the boys in their usual form. They were funny and gorgeous and belied implications by Kripke that their relationship is damaged. I can't wait until Thursday!

Number Two just got home. Must move on to the belongs-to-everyone-but-me part of my day now. :)

Mixed Bag

I'm highly amused by the difference between the media's talk about the New England Patriots' new situation and the perspective of the players from around the league.

Summary:

Media: OMG! SEASON'S OVER! PATRIOTS ARE ONLY TOM BRADY! CASSEL SUCKS! NO ONE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE TEAM PLAYS THEIR POSITION WELL!

Players: The Patriots didn't win because of Brady, they won because of the well-coached, dedicated, team-focused team that they are, and they will continue to be a challenge--nothing changes.

The truth, of course, is somewhere in the middle. Tom Brady's loss does change things, but it takes a team that might have been stratospheric (which we'll never know since the injury occurred only a few minutes into the season) and brings them down to the level of the rest of the NFL.

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I have a new blog! Well, it's more than a blog, and it's not MINE, per se. Okay, it's not mine at all, I'm just one lowly member of a fabulous group of women who like speculative TV. Today I posted my review of the season premiere of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles on SciFi Chicks. The site will have reviews and commentary, news and spoilers, and rousing discussions about the best in SF, fantasy, and paranormal television. Check it out!

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I really want my TiVo back.

Last night was the first night we watched anything we'd recorded using the new DVR box, and I HATE IT. Really, really hate it. Enough to pause the show and rant.

With TiVo, you have a list of shows you recorded. You click on the show, click Play, and it starts either at the beginning, or where you left off the last time you viewed it. When you get to the end, it takes you back to the menu.

We recorded three shows yesterday. Two and a Half Men (I don't watch that, J does), Terminator, and Prison Break. I went into the List, highlighted Terminator, and Selected it, then clicked Play.

Prison Break started.

I thought I'd hit the wrong show on the list, so I did it all over again. Same result. (This was about 9:10 last night, so just a little into PB, so it was starting from the point of the live show, not even at the beginning.)

I'm not yet familiar with all the features of the remote, so I started rewinding, and it was rewinding through T:SCC but geez, I don't want to have to take that time, or watch a whole show in reverse before I watch it in forward/regular motion. So I checked the cheat card and saw that if I hold the six-second jump-back button down, it will jump to the beginning of the show. When I did that, though, it jumped back twice, to the beginning of Two and a Half Men! Which I had to fast-forward through.

So okay, yeah, I have to learn the features of my remote and maybe read up a little on how the stupid Playlist works. I mean, gawd, am I gonna have to jump through 56 episodes of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody to get to Fringe?

Stay tuned to learn if Natalie Stops Being an Cantankerous Old Lady and Learns This Newfangled Technology or says F*** It! and buys a new TiVo box.

It Wasn't Supposed to Be This Hard

So yesterday was one of the best days of the year, and one of the worst.

Football season started! Woo hoo!

Tom Brady got hurt. Boo hoo.

Rumor has it that it's an ACL tear, though that rumor was spreading before he had today's MRI, so no one really knows for sure what it is. If that is the injury, he's out for the season. My first reaction to that was "great, now I'm not going to watch" but that's ridiculous. I don't watch for Tom Brady. And sure, the very faint possibility of repeating last year's undefeated season adds some excitement, but I'm totally spoiled. Most teams don't have that. Most teams don't feel, the day of the first game, absolute confidence that they'll win their division. So now we just have a new kind of excitement. The excitement of true challenge.

Even with Matt Cassel replacing Brady (and he played very well), the game shouldn't have come down to the last play. Our defense did fine, and our special teams really could do a lot better--but "fine" and "needs improvement" won't cut it for long.

But we won the Superbowl the first time with an untried backup, and we can do it again. I say "FIE" to all the pundits saying to stick a fork in the Pats. We are so not done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enough football. Have I mentioned that I have a new release? I think I have failed in that responsibility.

Letting Go I loved the idea of a May/December romance, even though "cougars" and young male boyfriends are all the rage. My heroine is far from a cougar. She's just a regular mom who's way too focused and really needs to let go.

Here's the blurb:

Single mom Samantha Pearson lives for her son, who's about to come home from college for the last Thanksgiving before graduation. But a snowstorm strands him at the airport, while Samantha is trapped in her house for days with his best friend and roommate Zack, a sexy twenty-two-year-old charmer whose flattering flirtations first embarrass her, then stir something forbidden deep in her soul.

What Samantha feels for the young man is utterly taboo, and she's determined to fight her growing attraction. But Zack, who fell for her the moment they first met, is equally determined to give Samantha all the pleasure and relaxation she never takes for herself...

You can read excerpts here and here and buy here. It's already available at ARe and soon to come at Fictionwise and for the Kindle.

Fandom Rocks Hard!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Dana Stodgel

Phone: 217-621-9970

Email: contact@fandom-rocks.com

FANS OF “SUPERNATURAL” RAISE THOUSANDS FOR CHARITY

Champaign, IL, September 5, 2008 - Fandom Rocks, a grassroots organization made up of fans of CW Television’s Supernatural, has concluded yet another successful charitable drive, raising thousands of dollars for two very worthy organizations, WriteGirl and Invisible Children.

This campaign, the third for Fandom Rocks, was the most successful to date, raising almost $9000 USD which will be evenly divided between WriteGirl and Invisible Children. The beneficiaries were chosen by fans through voting conducted on the Fandom Rocks website. Funds were raised among through site donations and a successful eBay auction, for which items were donated by fans and celebrities alike, including the cast and crew of Supernatural.

Fandom Rocks is grateful to everyone who participated in the campaign by donating auction items, bidding, and spreading the word about the fundraiser. Special thanks go to Sera Gamble and everyone at Supernatural for the autographed memorabilia provided for the auction.

Supernatural fans from around the world worked together to “give back” while bonding through their shared love and support for Supernatural, which they will be quick to tell you is the “absolute best show on TV!” Winners of auction items included fans in Belgium, Australia, and Japan.

Fandom Rocks is now preparing for their fourth campaign. Information on the organization and their work can be found at www.fandom-rocks.com.