Friday, September 23, 2005

Slow Joe

My boss “wallpapered” our bathroom at work with old sheet music. As I’m a compulsive reader, I can’t help reading the same things over and over again. Some of them drive me nuts.

One is this song called “Slow Joe” by Charlie Harrison and Fred Rose. It says at the top,

This is Slow Joe

Slowest man a livin’

Never had a girl in his life

Of course you’ll want his whole history—

And then the lyrics go:

“Slow Joe the slow-est man a liv-in’

Slow Joe could nev-er be for-giv-en, The girls all tried

To love him in vain — He”

At which point it disappears behind the dresser that serves as our supply cabinet. Leaving me to wonder in what manner Joe is slow, and why that precludes him from having a girl, though apparently they all want him desperately.

Another one is called “Eve Wasn’t Modest Till She Ate that Apple” with a subtitle of “We’ll have to pass the apples again.” This is “Courtesy of Puck,” self-proclaimed “America’s Cleverest Weekly.” I want to rename it America’s Most Sexist Weekly. Or maybe, America’s Most Hypocritical Weekly.

Boy, am I glad we live in a time when song lyrics make sense and don’t bash anyone. ;)

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