My Kids are Backwards

I'm sure all families are different, but there's an expectation that siblings fight a lot until one of them gets too big. Usually it's when the younger one gets big enough to hurt the older one back. (With me and my brother, it stopped when I tried to hit him with a garlic press, missed and hit my hand instead, and cut myself. I was so shocked at my capacity for violence I made sure it never got physical again.)

My kids have never fought. Two girls, 3 years and 8 months apart, you'd think they would have. Number One should have been overly annoyed by Number Two, who was certainly crafty enough to bug her sister deliberately and then play the bullied baby when Number One retaliated. But they never really went there, back when they were 12 and 8, a time I consider prime fighting age.

But NOW.

I started to leave to go to the bank, realized I didn't have my ID, and went back inside. Where Number Two promptly told me the following:

"She was blocking my view of the pantry so I couldn't get a snack, so I slapped her in the face. Very lightly! And she [insert woe-is-me voice here] grabbed my arms and pulled them behind my back and it HURT."

Number One comes out to the kitchen. "Is she telling you about how she slapped me in the face?"

Number One has reached 5'6" and has the nickname "Brick Wall" from soccer. Number Two is about 5'1" but plenty solid and capable of defending herself. They never fought like this before. WHY did they wait until they're 16 and 12 to start the fisticuffs?

Of course, they laughed at me. "We were laughing the whole time, Mom."

Yeah, that makes me feel better.

~~~~~~~~~~
Note: I sent this to my kids to get their approval before I posted. Number Two said "It's fine. I think it's quite funny." Number One said "yeah, it's fine. i don't know why, but i couldn't stop laughing!"

She doesn't know why?! Guess which kid is my favorite today.

Found on the NEO

I wrote this post on September 2nd, then every time I saw it on the Neo, I was like, "I posted that, didn't I? Yeah, I'm sure I posted that." Then I forgot to check.

I never posted that. But I like it, so I'm posting it now, even though stuff that's a month old is hardly relevant. Some of it is, though! So...

Hilarity Ensued

Number One goes into the living room.

#1: "Ohhhhhh, Frisbee, did you have to barf?" *grabs one pick-a-size paper towel*

Me: "Is it like a big hairball, or just a little barf?"

#1: "Just a little barf." *gets halfway into living room, stops short* "OH MY GOD SHE'S EATING IT."

#1 and #2: *groans*

#1 to #2: "You're helping me." *reaches for more paper towels*

#2 to me: "Well? Do I have to?"

Me: "Yes. There are gloves."

#2 to #1: "Give me 4."

Me: "No, you only need two."

#1: "Is she still eating it?"

Me: "Yep. She's moved on to the big pile now."

#1 and #2: *groans*

Me: "Well, wait until she's done, you'll have less to clean up."

#1 and #2: *groans*

#2: "I'm so glad I'm not hungry."

#1: "I feel sick."

Funny Stuff...Well, To Me, Anyway

Conversation with the Kid

Scene: Picked Number One up at school, stopped at grocery store on the way home. She was going to wait in the car and read the hated Great Expectations.

Me: Don't get carjacked.

Her: I won't.

Me: Take off your seatbelt. If someone tries, jump out of the car immediately.

Her (reaching into back seat): I'm not leaving without my Neo.


Ahhh, that's my kid.


Today, I was participating in a writing blast sponsored by my local chapter, CPRW. We were all typing in the chat so fast that we kept messing up. Stuff like spring instead of sprint and Luciver instead of Lucifer and getp 'oml instead of whatever it was supposed to be. Someone typed readu and made a joke about not knowing what that was. As the joking evolved, we discovered...

A NEW LANGUAGE!

We no longer make mistakes. We just switch from English to Typotic. Join us! The learning curve is nearly non-existent.

Supernatural fans, don't forget the new Ghostfacers series launched today! Go to Ghostfacers.com. I can't tell you how they are, because the video player doesn't seem to want to update. Will have to try it on my laptop.

I Have Permission to Tell You This

Number One took an Intro to Foreign Foods last semester, a precursor to this semester's Italian Cooking class. She made an excellent Kung Pao Chicken for us all, and recently decided to make Fettuccini Alfredo, her favorite Italian dish, for family dinner.

We tried. Hard. I thought it was odd that it didn't thicken very much, but she'd done everything right, as far as I could tell, and we all made enthusiastic and encouraging noises as we dished up. On first bite, it was pretty good, although sweet. On additional bites, it tasted sweeter and sweeter. I got up to check the basil, to see if she used sweet basil, but she hadn't. Then I thought maybe the basil was old and had therefore changed flavor or something.

After a few minutes in which it became harder and harder to eat the pasta, I suddenly had a brain flash. An image, as I walked through the kitchen, of Number One measuring the flour. From a yellow canister out of the cupboard. Not the glass canister from the counter.

Yeah. She used powdered sugar.

I'll be a good mom and take some of the blame. I walked through the kitchen while she was measuring it, and I was there as she mixed it into the butter. I half noticed how bright white it was, and attributed it to the lighting. But it never occurred to me that she was inexperienced enough not to be able to tell that it was too fine or smelled different. And I wasn't actively supervising her or anything.

She tried again last night, and it was perfect. :)